


Dark Light

by purplebass



Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28589856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplebass/pseuds/purplebass
Summary: Lucie finally brings Jesse back to life, but at which cost?This is a fanfic about one of the infinite outcomes that could happen after Jesse is possibly revived.It will have a happy ending, don't worry!
Relationships: Jesse Blackthorn/Lucie Herondale
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25
Collections: Blackdale





	1. Life

Everyone of us puts their hopes and expectations into something. Wishing for things or wishing for people is what makes a human being move forward. There are some things that require weeks, months, to happen. While some others can happen in the blink of an eye. 

When Lucie decided to bring Jesse back, she knew that it wasn’t an easy feat to accomplish. But as everything she ever did in her existence, she thought that it didn’t hurt to try. At least, if you tried, even if you failed, you would still be comforted by the fact that you have, indeed, done something to achieve what you wanted, although it didn’t turn out the way you hoped.

Lucie could say that she had tried every route, in order to accomplish this task. She started gathering information from books. She asked for help without revealing her aim when those she inquired were curious. She brushed it off that she was researching for one of her novels, which was a good excuse. No one would bother Lucie with questions, if the matter concerned her writing. They were all aware that she would disclose her findings during her read aloud sessions in the drawing room, but until then, they would remain secret.

She sneaked out during the night to seek the ingredients. She also consulted books that weren’t at the Institute. She consulted science experts (namely, her cousin Christopher), but their advice didn’t bring her anywhere. All of this, because she wanted to find a way that wouldn’t make her a criminal if she succeeded. She didn’t want someone to find out. Oh, someone would definitely find out if she were successful. But this didn’t mean that they would find her out.

After four months of trial and error, she had no fruit to harvest. Nothing had changed. She put the ingredients together and followed the instructions, but Jesse’s body lay still where it was. No spark, no life. Dead. And Lucie grew tired, but didn’t give up. It wasn’t in her nature to give up.

In the end, Lucie realized with resignation, the only way left was the one she hoped she would never have to try. Grace Blackthorn gave her a book, which she found in her stepmother’s library. It was called _The Black Volume of the Dead_ , and Lucie thought it was ironic. But, at the same time, exactly what she needed. 

It hadn’t been hard to look for the spell. It hadn’t been hard to find what she needed either. Still, even though she had everything, nothing was happening. She didn’t see anything different. Jesse still lain in his casket in his deadly beauty. Still unmoving. 

Lucie was frustrated. For the first time in years, she was at her last straw. She thought about giving up. Perhaps she needed a warlock to help her. Until one night, she saw one of Jesse’s long fingers move nervously. It didn’t last long, but it was something. 

Lucie’s hands trembled now. His fingers clutched the sides of the casket. He was… The glass she was holding fell to the floor, echoing in the empty greenhouse in Chiswick. She needed water, since the night was humid, and she might as well have done something while she prepared to wait again, in the hopes that there would be a slight movement. Anything. 

That was far more than just anything.

She stared at him as he started moving at once. He extended his arm, and flexed his hand. To anyone he would look like an average teenager who was waking up after a long rest. But Lucie knew he had nothing average about him, considering that she had just… 

She heard a grunt, and watched as he helped himself in a sitting position. He seemed pained. Tired. He touched his forehead. He held himself on the sides of his casket, and Lucie noticed his eyes were shut. She feared that she had awoken a monster, a zombie. The whole scene reminded her of Shelley’s Frankenstein. Jesse erased any fear in her when he finally opened his eyelids, and looked around the room. He was clearly confused as he set his eyes on Lucie.

She didn’t know what to say. There was an “are you okay?” on the tip of her tongue, yet… 

He was watching her. She was being silly. She needed to speak, she needed to -

“Who are you?”

Lucie gaped at him, and froze on the spot. She couldn’t move, and thought perhaps it was better to interact with him from afar. She didn’t know the extent of the spell she had done in order to bring him back. This could very well be one of the dire consequences. She sighed. She wouldn’t let it get to her. 

_Hold on to satisfaction. Hold on the accomplishment. You made it, Lucie._

“What are you saying?” she asked tentatively.

“Are you deaf? I asked… who are you?” he wondered, getting off what it once was his bed. His deathbed, she reminded herself. “Did you bring me here?” he tilted his head in the direction of the casket. 

“But Jesse, we…” she ignored his question. It hurt that he thought she might have taken him there against his will. “Never mind, I guess I should have expected it.”

“You probably took me here because of my mother, right? She said she owed something to someone,” he told her, confirming her suspicions. 

Lucie shuddered. “What? No,” she almost shouted. “What did she owe, precisely?”

Jesse crossed his arms on his chest. And he did it so naturally that no one would believe he was in a coma until five minutes ago. “I won’t talk until you’ve told me who you are, young lady.”

“Do you know who you are?”

“Is this a way to distract me and flee?”

“I didn’t kidnap you,” she said with determination, hoping he would believe her. “Quite the opposite.”

“You still haven’t answered, lady,” he frowned. 

“I’m Lucie,” she sighed, chilling at his detachment. He had just called her lady, and his voice was laced with caution. “Lucie Herondale.”

His frown deepened, and he bit his lip, rummaging in his thoughts. “The name isn’t new,” he puckered his lips. Then, realization dawned on him. “Wait, I remember you.”

Lucie gazed up at him. He was the same Jesse, yet different. Her heart raced, but she tried not to put her expectations too high, seeing how he had forgotten about spending time with her while he was a ghost. “How so?”

“My mother told me about you, about the Herondale family,” he murmured, looking away, trying to remember. 

Lucie’s mouth contorted in a welcoming smile, but she was afraid he would repeat the same things he told her the first time they met after several years, at the ball. She kept silent, waiting.

“I reckon we’re enemies, Lucie Herondale,” he said icily. “And this reinforces my idea that you’ve kidnapped me. You took me here to use me as a sacrifice for your spells, didn’t you?” He advanced closer to her, but still far enough away to keep a formal distance between two people who weren’t acquainted to each other yet. “My mother told me you Herondales are wretched. Your blood is corrupted by demons.”

 _He’s saying these things because he doesn’t remember, Lucie. This is what his mother told him. It’s not the truth._ She thought, but she didn’t know what to say. The words didn’t come out of her mouth. To Jesse, her reaction was enough proof that he might have guessed right. He turned his back on her, and looked inside of his casket. “Where is it?”

“Where is it, what?” 

“The sword. This was also about it, I presume,” he said, casting glances around the place. He seemed anxious to find it. 

“It’s over there,” Lucie pointed at a spot nearby. She didn’t inform him that the reason she had displaced the sword was to avoid that he’d cut himself with it, if he were to wake up. But she was sure he wouldn’t believe her if she did.

Jesse took the Blackthorn sword and grinned. He looked satisfied, as if the only thing that mattered was that he hadn’t lost the only possession he’s ever claimed for himself, in his previous life. The sword didn’t have a case, and he took one of the linens that Lucie had scattered on the floor and wrapped it around it. The next thing she knew, he was rushing towards the exit of the greenhouse, his sword in tow.

“Wait, Jesse, wait!” she called after him. She grabbed his arm before he could leave. 

He stopped, at least, but regarded Lucie’s hand on his forearm warily. She didn’t release him, though. “What is it? I’m sorry to inform you that your plan backfired.”

“I told you that I didn’t have a plan,” Lucie shook her head. “Never mind, it’s useless to reason with you, since you think I’m the enemy.”

“Because you are the enemy,” he spat calmly, trying to disengage his arm. “And you’re holding me here against my will.”

“You’ve always been held here, Jesse Blackthorn,” she reminded him. “Well, not exactly in the greenhouse, but still. In any case… please, don’t go inside of your house.”

He chuckled, amused by her words. “Why wouldn’t I? I should hurry and tell my mother there is an intruder who tried to experiment on me. I’ve seen the vials you set up in there, Lucie Herondale.”

“The very reason you’re there, is your mother!” she raised her voice. “I was just trying to - I’ve tried to bring you back for months.”

“Bring me back from what?”

“You were dead, you dummy!”

Astonishment passed over Jesse’s face, but it was quickly replaced by a frown. “And this, my dear, is proof that you’re a liar,” he said. “How can I be dead if I am flesh and bones? And you’re touching my arm.”

Lucie rolled her eyes. “Did you hear what I said? You were dead. _Were_. Past tense. You’ve been dead until a few minutes ago.”

He chuckled nervously. He didn’t seem convinced. “I can’t remember,” he told her, glancing away. “Therefore, I can’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to believe me for it to be true,” Lucie sighed. “If you go in there, your mother is going to lock you in and you’ll never see a soul again.”

“As if that would change anything.”

“It would change things,” she said, and took his hand in hers tentatively. She didn’t know what he meant with that line, but perhaps, it had something to do with Tatiana never letting Jesse or Grace go out of Chiswick without her supervision. Which was something rare.

He observed Lucie’s hands. She could see the wheels moving in his brain. Perhaps, she had convinced him a little. 

“Look, I’m not trying to badmouth your mother or displace your faith in her,” she continued. “But you were the one who told me about it. That she liked to experiment on things,” she tried to be vague, but really, she meant living things. “That she, according to you, was probably the one who killed -” she stilled for a moment, “who killed you.”

Jesse’s eyes met hers, and he observed her for long before answering. Meanwhile, Lucie’s heart hammered in her chest. This was it. This was the moment he would trust her or not. She prepared for both outcomes.

“Those are hefty accusations,” he murmured, frowning. “Defamation, even.”

“It’s the truth.” 

“Do you have any evidence of what you said, Lucie? Do you?”

It was clear to her that she had shaken him a bit, but it wasn’t enough. You were the main piece of evidence, she wanted to say, but didn’t. “No.”

“Then I guess it’s better you leave before my mother finds you,” he replied, retrieving his hand from between hers and turning his back.

Lucie watched him walk away from her. A sense of helplessness filled her. She had spent the last four months trying to find a solution to his problem. She had tried everything she could in order to bring him back, but he… Unshed tears pricked at the sides of her eyes, but she wouldn’t cry. She had accomplished her goal. She should be happy about that. But it wasn’t time to celebrate yet. She had to flee back to the Institute before Tatiana Blackthorn would find her there.


	2. Shelter

Lucie got back to the Institute right before her brother James knocked on her door at seven, telling her that breakfast was about to be ready. She barely had the time to hide the Black Volume under her bed, take off her cloak, and jump under her blanket. She lazily opened her eyes when James’ head peeked inside of her room. She washed her face and moved on with her day as if nothing had changed overnight. She couldn’t do it otherwise.

She was amazed at how easily she had kept a straight face, not betraying a hint of emotion in front of her friend Cordelia either, whom she met for lunch. 

She replayed what happened only when night descended, and she was alone again.

_Jesse woke up_. He woke up but didn’t remember her. He also forgot that he had died, along with everything he did while he was a ghost. Including knowing her. That had hurt Lucie the most, but she didn’t want to think about it too much. It could be solved, she believed. But she didn’t know how. Perhaps his memories would return with time.

She was planning to visit Chiswick again, when she heard someone laugh in the corridor and she came out of her room. 

“Oh, Lucie. You’re still awake?” questioned Matthew. He didn’t have his jacket on, and looked wasted. He was probably keeping James company.

“It’s not that late, Matthew,” she shrugged, and passed him to go to the drawing room. 

She found Thomas and Christopher there, sitting on the carpet in front of the fire. They both greeted her when she entered the room, but then kept playing chess. 

She shook her head. Of all the nights, they had to be here… “What happened to the Devil’s Tavern?” she asked abruptly. 

“It’s still there, Lucie,” Thomas replied, not taking his eyes off the board. 

“I still haven’t blown that up,” Kit giggled, glancing at her briefly. “Wait, you meant why are we not there?”

“Yes.”

“Go ask your brother,” Kit answered, making Lucie impatient. If she wanted to sneak out, she had to plan her exit carefully.

She left the boys alone, and returned to her room. She had kept the lights dim, because she didn’t plan on writing that night. For some reason, she wasn’t inspired. She had been too bothered by real life to care about her stories. But it may help to write, since she hadn’t been able to think about anything else.

She was about to sit at her desk when she jumped. She tried not to make any sound, because she didn’t want the intruder to think they had scared her. She had noticed a figure in the shadow corner of her bedroom in time. “I saw you, James,” she said, then started arranging her things in order to start writing something in the meantime the boys in the other room would fall asleep and she could sneak out. She turned to the shadow. “James, you can move. I saw you,” she chuckled. “I’m not little anymore. You didn’t scare me.”

She didn’t notice that he had gotten closer to the desk. “I have a few doubts about it.”

She jumped in her seat, but this time, she gasped. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“You seemed eager to take me with you, yesterday,” Jesse said. He was smirking. At least his smile was still the same.

“What changed your mind?”

“Grace. I met her when I was about to get in my house, and she couldn’t believe -” he sighed, casting a glance at Lucie’s typing machine for a moment,” she was shocked. She confirmed that I have been dead for seven years, and that you were trying to help my case.”

“So you believe me, now,” she raised an eyebrow.

“I believed Grace. You have yet to prove yourself, Lucie Herondale,” he answered cautiously. 

“I don’t have to prove anything to you,” Lucie replied surly, unable to keep a neutral tone. She turned to face the window. The room turned cold all of a sudden, and she was getting discouraged. 

Who was this person and where her boy from the forest had run to? The Jesse she knew wasn’t this haughty. Well, not this much. He was conceited, but not like this. As a ghost, he never acted as if he was above everyone else, and he hadn’t been distrustful. 

She had never met Jesse before he died. What if he had been like this? What if being a ghost smoothed his personality? She would never know. The only thing she could do was accept that he may never return the person she knew the past few months.

Lucie turned. He was still hovering on the desk, but this time, there were a few papers in his hand. He was reading what she had written. 

She marched towards him and seized the papers as if they were catching fire in his hands and she needed to protect him. Or herself. She had let him read some of her writing while he was a ghost, but there were things that she would never disclose to anyone. Especially because some of those stories concerned him.

“Manners,” Lucie said, aggravated. 

“I couldn’t help myself,” he said, shrugging. “I apologize.”

She glared at him and used a rune to light the fire in the hearth. She could feel him moving behind her.

“About what I read, though,” he continued, his voice close, “it wasn’t bad quality. Why don’t you want anyone to read it?”

Lucie turned abruptly when she was done, and her eyes widened. She realized he had gotten closer, but still far enough for comfort. She focused on his eyes. “I read those to you,” she said benevolently. “When you were a ghost.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry I can’t remember.” 

He seemed genuinely upset about it. Something constricted in Lucie’s chest. _Me too_ , she thought. _Me too_. 

“You apologized two times in less than an hour,” she said instead. She was teasing him, of course. That was the closest he ever got to the way he used to be. Perhaps he had been just wary the day before. 

He managed a smile. “And I’m not done with apologies,” he sighed, and sat down on Lucie’s armchair in front of the hearth. He extended his arms towards the fire, and she realized that he hadn’t changed his clothes. “In fact -”

“You must be freezing,” Lucie murmured, interrupting his sentence. 

He gazed at her, but she had already grabbed the blanket she kept on the edge of her bed, and offered it to him. He didn’t hesitate to take it. She didn’t miss the shy smile he made when he wrapped it around himself. “I wanted to apologize to you, Lucie,” he continued, “you were right about my mother.”

Lucie was surprised. “Didn’t you say Grace was right?” she inquired, raising an eyebrow. 

“Grace is right, but so are you,” he admitted. “I told you that when I was about to enter the house, my sister intercepted me. She said you had sent her a message claiming that you had made it, and to come as soon as possible.”

Lucie was grateful that the message had come through, at least. 

“She warned me not to let my mother see me, lest she will not let me out of her sight,” he recounted, glancing at the flames as he spoke. “It sounded like madness, but she used to do it when we were young; it wasn’t completely out of character. My sister told me she is residing at the Bridgestocks, and to hide for the time being.”

“So you came here,” she said, matter of factly. 

Jesse gazed up at her. “I haven’t been brought up a shadowhunter like you, Lucie, but I know that Institutes also serve as shelters for other shadowhunters.”

Lucie felt a pang of sadness in her stomach. She realized he hadn't come because of her. “And since I live in one, you came to me.” Saying out loud hurt less. She managed a smile, and crossed her arms on her chest. “Well, we can’t help it, then,” she said gravely, trying not to betray her true emotions.

“Does this mean I can stay?” he wondered with elation. 

“Of course you can stay, Jesse,” she said. “But you must stay in this room.”

“What?”

“Look, you were dead. No one but me and your sister knows you’re alive, and your mother is going to find out once she goes to check on your casket,” she informed him. “And I, I -” Lucie shook his head, trying to make whatever scenario she was conjuring up there go away, “If someone were to find you’re alive, it won’t take much to find out how you came back to life.”

“Because they would point their fingers at you,” Jesse realized. 

“Exactly,” Lucie confirmed, walking around the room. “I don’t want to limit your freedom, Jesse. But i think it’s better for you to stay here until we know what your mother is going to do.”

He nodded, and turned to the fire again, setting himself more cozily on the armchair. “You make it sound as if she’s planning murder.”

“Trust me. She might if she knows you’re not where you’re supposed to be and you’re here.”

“Because you’re a Herondale?”

“No,” she replied. “Because I’m a shadowhunter.”

He didn’t say anything more after that, and Lucie went to rearrange her notebooks in the meantime. She locked her door as well. Since James and her cousins were in the other room, they might knock on her door in the morning. She didn’t want Tatiana to find Jesse, but she also didn’t want anyone else to discover him there. A boy in her room. A boy who had been dead until the day before in her room. She passed a hand on her forehead when she thought of the consequences.

She thought he had fallen asleep on the chair a few minutes later, but then he spoke.

“I decided to trust you, Lucie,” he told her. “I’m tired now, I think I’m going to sleep.”

She grinned, unable to help herself. It was all so unreal, yet so tangible. He was there, sitting on her armchair. He was really sitting. The contours of his body were real. She still couldn’t believe it. 

“Goodnight, Jesse,” she said.

“Goodnight, Lucie.”


	3. Mission

Trying to hide somebody was difficult, and Lucie hoped she would never have to do it again. 

Jesse came to the Institute three days prior, looking for a place to hide. Lucie knew that she would have brought him there if he had been complacent after he opened his eyes to life again, but she hadn’t planned much after then. It had been silly of her not to think about the situation better, but after all of the tests gone wrong, she truly believed she would never be able to pull this off. 

Jesse had slept on the armchair in her room. She had never shared a room with anybody, not even her brother James. They had always slept in separate chambers, and only spent time together on her bed when they told each other stories when they were kids.

Jesse wasn’t her brother, nor was he a cousin or a closer friend. Lucie had known him for a few months, and his present self was slightly different from the person she had met. And, if she were to be honest with herself, she liked Jesse too much to put him in the “family” group. He was someone she would love to become her family, a husband, perhaps. Which made everything more complicated. 

For this reason, Lucie never changed into her nightclothes in front of him. She was still a respectable young girl, even if she was momentarily sharing a room with a boy. If someone were to find that Jesse had been sleeping there... People were quick to make judgements. She had seen it with Cordelia and James. 

Besides that, of course, Lucie’s main source of worry was that the Clave would find out what she did. What would they say? It was a challenge to hide him, let alone explain how he, who had been dead for seven years, was alive and well.

Speaking of which, she had to take one last trip to Chiswick. She still had the Black Volume of the Dead, and if someone would discover it under her bed, there would be hell to pay. 

She wasn’t sure the Clave could connect Jesse being alive with her. Did necromancy… smell? Could the Clave trace back to whoever had used dark magic? She didn’t know, and she wished she would never have to know.

“When do you think my mother will find out?” Jesse asked from the window on the fourth day after his return from the dead. 

He was eating scones and sipping tea, and watching as the sky grew darker outside. Lucie had brought those things to her room a few minutes earlier. They would be his dinner, or sort of. She hated that she could only give him these scraps, but it would be suspicious if she asked for an extra dish. She rarely ate more than what was served during meals. 

Lucie took her eyes off the book she was reading. The question he asked concerned one of the things that were bothering her. “Perhaps she already has,” she said, her tone resigned. “And she’s preparing her revenge.”

Jesse chuckled. “This seems unreal,” he commented. 

“What is the last thing you remember?”

He frowned, and Lucie wondered if he remembered anything at all. He could have forgotten about most of his life. “I remember we had dinner, right before the Silent Brothers came to give me my first mark.”

“And then?” 

“I recall that I felt sick when they left,” he said, sipping his tea. “And when I woke up, I met you.”

“I see,” Lucie said. “I was doing research about that, by the way.”

“About why I can’t remember?”

“Yes,” she nodded, glancing back on the page she was skimming. “I still can’t find anything. There are no precedents.”

He had come off the window, and approached the desk, putting himself behind her. Lucie bit her lip. The temptation to raise her head and look up at him was strong. 

“That’s too bad,” he commented. “Want me to help you?”

“Actually, yes,” she nodded. “Because I have an engagement soon, and I am afraid I must focus on that.”

“More time alone,” he chuckled.

She frowned, and finally met his eyes. He was smirking, and teasing her. “My  _ parabatai  _ ceremony is in a few days,” she explained. “We had to delay it several times, me and Cordelia.”

“There’s no need to explain,” Jesse answered placidly, placing his hands on the side of the desk. “Besides, we both know I can’t go out for the time being.”

“But you will,” Lucie remarked confidently. She put her hand over his. “Soon. I’m sure we’ll come up with something.”

He glanced down, where Lucie’s hand had covered his. She hadn’t realized what she had done. It had been an instinctive gesture to do it. She opened her mouth, embarrassed, and retreated her hand slowly. Jesse smiled, but didn’t say anything. 

Lucie continued with her reading, and he helped her. When the clock struck eleven, she stood from her chair, and grabbed her cloak.

“Where are you going?” Jesse wondered, frowning from his book. 

“I need to take this book back to your house,” she adjusted the coat around her shoulders. It was freezing cold. “If your mother finds that it’s gone, and I have it,” she sighed, not finishing the sentence. She put the volume in a dark blanket. 

“You can’t go there alone,” he warned her. “I must come with you.”

“And risk being discovered?”

“Who said we’ll get caught?” he shrugged. “It’s better if we’re in two. We can watch each other’s backs. And I am acquainted with the property.”

“Alright, you can come. I’m going to grab a coat for you,” she said. “Don’t leave without me” she warned. 

…

At least, Jesse didn’t desert her. She feared he would sneak out of the Institute while she was trying to find him a coat that would fit him (in the end she stole one of James’) and go somewhere. She literally ran back to her room, imagining it empty and with the Black Volume already gone. She was grateful that Jesse kept his promise and stayed.

“Do you think she’s home?” Lucie wondered, glancing at Jesse for a moment. They were perched on the driver seat of her family carriage. It would have been less suspecting if they had taken the horses, but Jesse said he didn’t know how to ride. 

“She’s rarely not home,” he confirmed. “And when she told us she had to go out, she used to lock us inside of our rooms until she came back.”

Lucie frowned. It wasn’t out of character for Tatiana, but it still chilled her to the bone. Her parents would never do that. She didn’t know how to comment and wasn’t sure if she had to. She remained silent. He didn’t seem to want to be pitied, either, but he probably didn’t even realize the magnitude of his mother’s actions, since that was the only life he knew. He could have grown up by thinking that being locked inside of your room without the possibility of roaming around your property was the norm. 

They talked about superficial things during the trip. This Jesse was also an avid reader, and they discussed plot holes and writing styles of Victorian classics. It was easy to talk to him. But then, she had spent the last four months getting to know him. The only difference was that now he was there in the flesh, with seven years wiped off his memory.

“We should go to the back entrance,” Jesse said after they had left the carriage behind. “She never uses it.”

“Is there a back entrance?”

Jesse smirked. “There is always a back entrance, Lucie. Come,” he prodded, and led the way.

“Jesse, wait,” she said, and he stopped instantly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Shouldn’t you get some runes first?”

He frowned. “Is this what you usually do before you sneak in someone’s house?”

“Yes,” she nodded, and took her stele out. “We draw runes that could help us. I thought that maybe you’d want some?” she asked, her voice hopeful.

“I don’t know anything about runes, and I wouldn’t be able to draw any on you.”

“That’s fine, I already got mine before we left,” she smiled, trying to be as calm as possible. “I’m drawing your runes.”

He thought about it for a moment. “If you think they may help,” he began, “then why not.”

“Give me your hand,” she said. He didn’t hesitate, and extended his arm. It was covered by the coat, and he pulled the material above his forearm. She realized how his arm was leaner compared to James’. There was enough space to fit two arms. Jesse helped her, and she remembered that she didn’t ask if she could do it herself. “I’m sorry, I should have asked.”

“Go ahead, Lucie,” he said with a placid smile. “It’s just an arm.”

It wasn’t just an arm for Lucie. She was about to draw his first rune. The moment was monumental for any shadowhunter. Having never been a proper shadowhunter, to Jesse it was ordinary. She wondered if he would remember it.

She proceeded to draw a stealth rune. She wondered what he was feeling, but didn’t dare to ask. “This will help us not to make any noise,” she explained. “While this is to sharpen your sight,” she added, and drew a night vision rune to see better in the dark.

He looked at her work with satisfaction, but also surprise. He had probably never seen runes aside from the faded voyance rune on his hand. Lucie wondered if Tatiana had books about shadowhunters in her father’s library. If she did, she didn’t think that she would have let Jesse or Grace see them, let alone read them. 

“Can I cover my arm now?”

“Oh, yes. They’re temporary, but it’s not like it’s ink or something,” she laughed nervously. She couldn’t believe she had just given Jesse his first two marks. She would never forget it.

After the brief rune moment, they continued with their quest. Jesse took her behind the main building. She had never been there, not even when she went to Chiswick with Cordelia or by herself. The door was partially hidden by vines, and that was the reason Lucie had never seen it.

“This is the exit the servants used,” Jesse murmured. The door opened instantly, it was unlocked. Weird. “When my uncles lived here, I believe. We never had any servants. The room where my sister found that book is my grandfather’s private study. I remember that once, my mother lamented that one of my uncles needed his diaries, but she didn’t want to give them to him. And said that your father was wretched because he convinced her. How, I have no idea.”

“He gave her money,” Lucie said as they moved through the corridors and up a spiral staircase. “That’s what he told us, at least.”

The stair wasn’t lighted, but she could sense his smile in the dark. “Your father never keeps anything from you, does he?”

“Never,” she replied firmly.  _ I’m the one who keeps things from him _ .  _ I’ve kept you from everyone _ , she wanted to add, but kept silent.

They reached what Lucie remembered was the first floor. There weren’t any witchlights nor mundane lights on. The corridor was bathed in the light of the moon. Lucie was grateful for the night vision rune. 

Jesse walked in front of her, and she followed, occasionally casting glances towards the doors in case someone was there. She could hear no sounds, but this didn’t mean that the house was empty. After wandering around statues and broken windows, they finally reached a door in the middle of the floor. 

Jesse tried to open it, but to no avail. Lucie drew an open rune, and it unlocked without further pressure. They looked around before entering, and closed the door behind them.

“I don’t know where this book was, exactly,” Lucie whispered. “It was Grace who gave it to me.”

“How did Grace know?”

“I have no idea,” she said, unveiling the Black Volume. She found an empty space on one of the shelves. “I’ll just put it here and we’ll go,” she announced with anticipation.

Jesse signaled her to stay silent. She didn’t know why, since there wasn’t anyone around, until she heard the footsteps and understood. She exchanged a glance with him. He didn’t know what to do either. The door opened, and Lucie started to panic. What would they do?

Jesse pulled her down to the floor, behind the desk, leaving her no time to think about another solution. She held her breath.

“I thought I locked this door,” a voice said, and the steps grew closer to their hiding place. The light from the window outside had turned the pavement grey. The same color Lucie’s face must have been out of fear.


	4. Shock

“I thought I locked this door.”

Jesse’s reflexes had been sharp, unlike hers. He had pulled her down to the floor just in time for the door to open, and Tatiana got in. She knew it was her. No one else lived there. Lucie wondered if she had heard their steps, but then she remembered that she had traced a stealth rune on Jesse. They had been silent. She was just doing her routine nightly rounds.

* * *

Tatiana’s steps were closer. They were heavy, but calculated. She was taking her sweet time. Lucie was curious to know how she spent her time, but this wasn’t the right moment to wonder about that. She could feel Jesse’s hand on her wrist. He hadn’t let her go, and she was grateful. She was impulsive at times, and she might have acted without thinking. 

The lights were still off, but Lucie could see a flickering orange color moving with the steps. Tatiana was holding a candle, she believed. Jesse tugged her closer in the small opening under the desk. She tried not to gasp when her shoulder bumped him. Her heart raced. She wasn’t sure whether the reason was this sudden touch or the fear that his mother might catch them there. Her brain was already trying to make up excuses, which meant her brain hadn’t gone in full emergency mode.

Tatiana went closer to the shelves where Lucie had just placed the _Black Volume_ , but it was short lived. She walked out and closed the door behind her, leaving the room in the dark.

Lucie finally breathed, but Jesse shushed her. “Still not safe,” he murmured. “Let’s wait five minutes.”

She nodded, but she bumped her head on the back of the desk. “Ouch,” she lamented.

“Careful,” he warned her. He came out of the hiding place first, and offered her a hand. “Mind the desk.”

Lucie wanted to laugh hysterically at her clumsiness - she wasn’t usually clumsy - but held her tongue. At least, he couldn’t see her blushing cheeks in the unlit room. She accepted the hand with glee, and they were out of the door.

She followed him, since the panic of being discovered had messed up her reasoning a little. When they were out of the servant’s door they had used, she stopped to take a breath. 

“We need to leave at once,” Jesse said, stopping in his tracks when he saw that she hadn’t moved from the exit. “Are you good?” he asked.

Lucie dropped the hand she had put on her chest by her side. She hoped he hadn’t seen her. She managed a smile and walked briskly towards him. “Yes, I’m fine.”

“Let’s find the carriage.”

…

“Lucie. Lucie, wake up,” a voice said, and Lucie opened her eyes abruptly.

She was in the carriage, and it was still dark outside. That much, at least, she remembered. But she couldn’t remember falling asleep during the trip back to the Institute. 

She put a hand on her throbbing forehead. “What happened?”

“You fell asleep,” Jesse said, adjusting himself in his seat. “We’ve just arrived.”

Lucie cleared her voice and opened the door. “Let’s hope we don’t have to run to my room,” she joked, and got out of the carriage. 

Jesse went out shortly after her, and they walked in silence towards the Institute. 

...

Lucie was already up and running the morning after. She was calm, happy even, and she had several reasons to feel like that. They had safely returned the _Black Volume of the Dead_ the night before, and there was no more proof that she could have used it. What made Lucie cheerful was the event that would happen in the evening: her _parabatai_ ceremony with Cordelia. 

She had last seen her friend the day after she revived Jesse. Cordelia had come to the Institute other times, but it was to meet with James and discuss their sham marriage. Lucie was grateful that she had to take care of those matters when she visited, because she wouldn’t have had the time to be with her, as much as she wanted to. 

She was still keeping Jesse hidden from the world, and even though Cordelia was a trustworthy friend, she didn’t want to tell her about him. Revealing Jesse to Cordelia would raise questions she wasn’t sure she wanted to answer. She wasn’t sure which answers she would give herself, either. 

No one had been around when they got back the night before. The drawing room was in the dark, and Lucie suspected that James might have been asleep or at the Devil’s Tavern with the others. In any case, she internally thanked him for not being there. She had already been shaken by the close encounter with Tatiana, and she didn’t want another, although meeting James wouldn’t have been as bad, would it? He would have asked questions, Lucie thought. It was better to wait before introducing Jesse to more people. 

“So, you’re getting a _parabatai_ today?” Jesse asked from her desk. He had taken residence in her room, and he had spent the last few hours reading. It wasn’t a leisure reading. Lucie had tasked him with finding information about his current state, and if they could do something about his lost memories. She believed he would oppose, but he accepted the job with a smile, claiming that he also wanted to find out more about his death and the killer. To do that, he must regain his memory first.

“You don’t ‘get’ a _parabatai_ ,” Lucie pursed her lips. She had been checking herself in the mirror in the last few minutes. “A _parabatai_ is like a brother, or a sister. It’s a vow as important as marriage,” she underlined. 

He nodded and made a face. “As long as it makes you happy,” he commented, and she could see he was watching her. 

She could see his expression in the mirror, but he couldn’t see hers. She smirked. “It makes me immensely happy to become Cordelia’s _parabatai_ ,” she said. “It will make us tighter, although I think we already are tight.”

“Yet, you didn’t tell her about me,” Jesse remarked. 

Lucie huffed audibly. Damn. She schooled her expression before she replied. “I trust Cordelia with my life,” she said. “This is why I want us to become _parabatai_.”

“But?”

Lucie bit her lip. What was the reason? “I’m not ready,” she admitted. 

“Ready for what?” he wondered. “Wait. You don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“I’m just -” she began, unable to find the words. “I’m just not ready, that is all.”

“I understand,” he said, and the conversation died. 

It was then that Lucie realized what was stopping her from telling Cordelia about Jesse. If her friend would find out about Jesse, Lucie wouldn’t be able to stop herself from revealing her true feelings about him to her. She just knew it. She would rather hide him until he was safe than face her heart. Was it love, though? Or simple affection? She wished she knew the difference.

Lucie’s carriage left the Institute after the sun had set. Her family was with her, and the vehicle seemed smaller than usual. It wasn’t usually crowded. She was on edge, and she was content to travel to the Silent City with her brother and her parents. They offered her the diversion she needed.

“You must be excited,” Tessa told Lucie. Her mother had probably seen her twist her hands into her lap for the umpteenth time.

“Of course, she is,” Will interjected, grinning at his daughter. “She’s about to be bonded to her dear friend, who will also become our dear daughter-in-law.” Lucie stayed silent, while James cleared his voice.

“You seem more eager than her, though,” his wife commented. “We don’t know if he’ll be there, Will,” she said, and Lucie knew they were talking about uncle Jem.

Will snorted. “He wouldn’t lose it for the world,” he declared with confidence. 

“At least, this time you won’t have to make up an excuse to see him, papa,” James affirmed, and everyone laughed. 

Will and Tessa exchanged a knowing smile, and Lucie had to look away. 

She thought about Jesse, alone in her room. Alone in the Institute. Well, probably not completely alone, since Bridget would be there. She was sure Jessamine would also come to take a look at him. She hadn’t seen her for days. 

Lucie told him that she would be back by night. She didn’t have to warn him not to wander around the building. She presumed that everyone of her friends and parents would be at the Silent City, but she couldn’t be entirely sure if a visitor could turn up on the Institute’s steps.

Once they arrived and the carriage stopped, Lucie ran out to find Cordelia. She found her friend by the corridor of the hall where the ceremony would take place. A little crowd had formed and she greeted some of her uncles and aunts before hugging Cordelia.

“I can’t believe this day has finally come,” Cordelia said, taking Lucie’s hands in hers. She was brimming with excitement. “We’ve waited too long for this.”

“We did,” Lucie agreed. Her hands started trembling, and she let go of Cordelia. 

“Are you okay?” her friend asked, her voice filled with worry and apprehension. “You look very pale.”

Lucie tried to smile, but she sighed. “I’m nervous,” she admitted. “We’ll be under everyone’s scrutiny tonight, and what if something goes wrong?” she wondered out loud, shocking herself. She was rarely a pessimist, but it wasn’t a secret she had been preoccupied these days. She thought she was managing it well, but the feeling that something could ruin this moment wasn’t leaving her. She had been feeling nauseous after they took off the Institute.

“I’m nervous too, Lucie,” Cordelia reassured her. “I couldn’t sleep last night, thinking about this.”

“You couldn’t?”

“No,” she said. “Something was bothering me other than this.” Cordelia looked away for a moment, as if embarrassed.

“Oh,” Lucie replied, but she couldn’t ask what had bothered Cordelia, because they were asked to prepare. 

The crowd started entering the hall. The last people who stayed behind were Lucie’s and Cordelia’s families. Cordelia’s mother touched her daughter’s arm before disappearing inside with Tessa, who also smiled kindly at Lucie. Sona was pregnant, and Tessa had waited to get in so she could get to their spots together. They were to become in laws soon, even though Cordelia’s marriage to James was not a marriage based on love. _Sadly, because they would make a nice couple_ , Lucie thought.

The last one to enter was her father, whom she had seen talking to uncle Jem. Of course, she rolled her eyes. But it was cute. She hoped that she and Cordelia would be like them, twenty and more years from then. She thought she had seen uncle Jem smile at her. Although he was a Silent Brother, she knew he probably did. 

_The ceremony is about to begin_ , Jem told them. _Please, arrange_.

Cordelia squeezed Lucie’s hand, and they stepped in the room. James and Alastair followed them. To Lucie, this was another sign that they had to be _parabatai_. They had both chosen their brothers as witnesses. 

Everyone took their place. Lucie stood in the ring of fire and Cordelia smiled at her, probably trying to give her strength. The fire became taller, and they started to say their vows.

> _Entreat me not to leave thee,_
> 
> _Or return from following after thee—_

The shriek of a door opening in the furthest side of the hall, made Lucie stop. It must have been someone who was late, she told herself, and prompted herself to continue with her vows. 

“Stop this charade!” someone said, and Lucie looked up to see Tatiana Blackthorn approach them from above. Everyone turned at once. She was descending the stairs like a madwoman, and perhaps she was truly mad. Or angry. “Stop, you.” Lucie’s heart skipped a beat when her eyes met Tatiana’s. 

_You must leave at once, Tatiana Blackthorn_ , Jem ordered her. _You are interrupting a significant ceremony._

“I don’t care,” she replied harshly, placing herself not too far from Lucie and Cordelia. “You’ll call off this ceremony when you’ll hear about what these teeangers did,” she pointed her finger at her, and then at James.

Lucie’s blood turned cold. This was it. Everyone would know about what she did. She wanted to run, but she couldn’t. She was still in the ring of fire, and it would be suspicious if she did. She had to keep calm. 

Jem glanced at her for a moment, then he casted a severe glance at Tatiana. The fire around her and Cordelia vanished, leaving her exposed and unprotected.

“What are you trying to accomplish, Tatiana?” asked her father. “You have no business being here.”

“You,” she said, ignoring Will and setting her eyes on Lucie. “And you,” she glanced in James’ direction. Lucie could feel her brother’s presence by her side. It somewhat comforted her, but she didn’t know why Tatiana was calling him out. “You were on my property last night,” she said coldly.

Lucie paled, because she knew it was true.

“With all due respect,” James began, “I think you’re mistaken, Mrs. Blackthorn,” he said with confidence. “I haven’t left the Institute at all, and my family can attest to that.”

Tatiana raised an eyebrow. “I clearly saw you, though. The _both_ of you,” she insisted.

“Then you saw wrong,” Will said from his spot. 

“I believe your children know how to talk,” she admonished him with venom. “I know what I saw. I clearly spotted a girl with brown hair and a boy with midnight hair running away from my house. My property.”

“And you believe it was me and my sister?” James wondered with a chuckle. “Tell her, Lucie. Tell her that it wasn’t us.”

Lucie couldn’t move. She had to talk, unless she wanted Tatiana to be more suspicious. “It wasn’t us,” she drawled the words out, her voice low and trembling. “I assure you, it wasn’t us,” she repeated.

“Then why are you wearing my family heirloom, little girl?” Tatiana smirked, and advanced towards her. “And also... The _Black Volume of the Dead_ , something that has been in the Blackthorn family for centuries, suddenly reappeared last night. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

Lucie gasped, and her hand tightened around her necklace. “Someone gave it to me,” she confessed. “I didn’t steal it.” It was an answer that could fit both questions, but Lucie only responded to the first one. She needed to save herself. She never thought...

“This was around my son’s neck,” Tatiana said, her face didn’t betray any emotion. “Around the neck of my son whose body is not where it used to be anymore,” she sneered, almost with annoyance. She looked like someone who had just burnt an egg, rather than a mother who grieved her son. 

“Tatiana, I think you should stop,” uncle Gabriel said from his spot. “This is not the place, nor the occasion -”

“It is the perfect occasion!” she cried out. “These two brats invaded my property and disposed of my son’s body on purpose!”

“Wait, wait,” Will interrupted again. “How dare you make such unfounded accusations against my children, Tatiana? You have no evidence to justify your claims.”

“He is right, you have no proof,” a new voice said from the back of the room. Everyone turned in the direction of the newcomer. Someone gasped.


	5. Truth

Tatiana’s mouth opened in disbelief. That was the first real emotion Lucie had seen on the woman’s face that evening.

“My son,” she murmured, as Jesse neared them and reached the center of the room. “How, why… it was her, right? I thought that someone might have been using the Black Volume. _He_ said he knew someone had brought you back.” Tatiana tried to reach for Jesse, but he recoiled back.

People started murmuring, and the room turned into a whirl of voices. Lucie glanced at Cordelia. Her eyes asked questions. She just shook her head in response. Behind Cordelia, Alastair frowned. Tatiana was talking to Jesse, but he was appalled. He didn’t seem to want to interact with his mother more than necessary, nor he wanted her to touch him. He hadn’t glanced in Lucie's direction after he appeared. 

She jolted when someone touched her arm. She had been focusing on the scene too much to feel her brother James coming closer to her. She also noticed that uncle Jem was looking at them, perhaps trying to decide what to do. The fact that Jesse was there would change the course of events. She wouldn’t become Cordelia’s _parabatai_ today. 

She heard Tatiana telling Jesse that he had been manipulated by Lucie. That in Lucie and James’ veins ran demon blood, thus they were corrupted. That she ruined her plans, _their_ plans. Who was the other person? Was it Jesse?

Lucie couldn’t take it anymore. All of the tension she had been feeling in the last few days got a hold on her, and she gave up. She collapsed in her brother’s arms.

…

Lucie realized that she had fainted when she felt someone helping her sit. Her vision blurred, and she lost her balance. Then, everything went black. It rarely happened, and she wished it wouldn’t occur in front of a crowd, but what could she do. She couldn’t control everything.

Her family were the first people she saw when she woke up. Her mother had touched her forehead to check her temperature - she said she was hot - while someone offered her a glass of water. The room felt strangely empty, because she couldn’t hear any noise, and Lucie wondered how much time had passed since she had collapsed.

“By the angel, Lucie,” Will said, and managed a smile. He was relieved, she could tell. “Are you well?”

“Wait,” Tessa ordered. “She has just opened her eyes.”

Lucie squinted. The lights in the room were dim, but her eyes hadn’t adapted yet. “My neck hurts,” she said with dismay. “What time is it?”

“I believe it’s around ten,” Will answered. “Everyone left a few hours ago, but we decided to wait until you woke up.”

“Everyone left?” she asked, wide-eyed, and tried to sit down properly. She realized she was sitting on one of the stands of the hall. “What about the ceremony?” 

“Lucie, dear,” her mother grinned, and she took her hand. “You wouldn’t wake, and we thought that with everything that happened earlier, it would be better to postpone it again.”

“Postpone? But mama, we’ve already pushed this ceremony several times!” she complained. “I’ve waited years for this, and now -” she wanted to cry. 

Tessa squeezed her hand. “Don’t worry. Uncle Jem said that he’ll try to arrange another one soon.”

“Yes, Lucie, don’t you worry,” her father said. “Leave it to him. Next month, by this time, Cordelia will surely be your _parabatai_.”

She sighed, and shook her head. Then, she remembered what happened. How could she forget? Right, she had collapsed. “What about Tatiana?”

Her parents exchanged a look, and she didn’t like it. It was subtle, quick, but Lucie had learnt how to recognize their secret glances. They talked to each other without words, like many couples who loved each other did. This look said: _who is going to tell her?_ Or: _how much of the truth should we keep to ourselves?_

“She is strongly convinced of her claims,” Tessa replied calmly, with a stern expression. “But don’t worry, we know that you didn’t do anything, Lucie.”

“Of course she didn’t do anything,” Will huffed, and stomped his foot on the wooden pavement. “And her dead son is _alive_! By the angel, he must be in agreement with her. Some of us suspected she might be doing dark deeds in order to bring him back, but we never believed!” he shook his head, still astonished by what had happened a few hours before. 

“But he claimed that his mother’s accusations against Lucie and James were not founded, Will,” Tessa said. 

“That is a point in his favor,” Will conceded. “It still doesn’t explain how he is with us and why he chose this moment to make himself known.”

Lucie wasn’t sure why and how Jesse had gotten to the Silent City, but she was convinced that he wasn’t working with his mother. On the other hand, he was working to bring his mother down. Or at least, that was what she desired. He might have played her. He had come to her after a day. Who knew if he and Tatiana had talked behind their backs and this was all just a lie?

She wondered where he had gone, and her mother revealed that he had left with uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily. Tatiana had opposed that, but then she gave in and left. Lucie was convinced she wouldn’t just drop the accusations, but at least Jesse was somewhere safe.

She commanded herself to stay silent, because she had, indeed, broken the law. She had used necromancy to bring him back. She thought her parents would be disappointed if they knew. 

Eventually, they returned to the Institute. James had been waiting with Cordelia theere, because she insisted to see that Lucie was alright. She was overjoyed by her friend’s affection, that when Cordelia asked if she wanted some company after this tough day, she couldn’t say no. There would be no boy in her room that night, after all. She wouldn’t see the boy for days.

…

It had been more than a week after the failed _parabatai_ ceremony. Nothing relevant had happened since then, if she didn’t count James and Cordelia deciding they would move into the Institute after their marriage. That was the brightest point of her week. At least, she would have her friend by her side. It was comforting. Perhaps, someday she would have the will to tell Cordelia everything she did during the previous four months. _Perhaps_. 

The thought of Jesse, and how he was faring, hadn’t left her mind. She hadn’t spent many days without him, after they had met. She was missing him so much that she had lost her appetite, corroded inside by doubt and worry. She believed that things might have been fixed while she hadn’t seen him. Tatiana might have dropped the accusations against them and had let Jesse spend the rest of his life with his other relatives who loved him. She stayed by her window for hours, unable to do anything but stare at the iron gates of the Institute, hoping that the Lightwood carriage would come and Jesse would come out.

“Earth to Lucie,” James said from the doorway. 

“It’s you,” Lucie replied, trying not to seem too disappointed. Her brother was one of the last people she wanted to see. She sighed. “Do you need something?”

James’s expression stayed neutral. “Yes, Lucie. Mama said to call you to the parlor. I don’t know what happened, but she looked serious.”

Lucie got away from the window in a heartbeat, and she smiled. James frowned, but didn’t say anything, and he accompanied her to the other room.

She walked there with hope in her chest. Her mother might have new information about Jesse, or about her new _parabatai_ ceremony. Lucie was still in dismay after they had to cancel it. She entered the parlor with a grin. It was all wiped away when she saw her father pacing the room, his arms crossed on his chest. It wasn’t usually a good sign. Uncle Jem was also there, unmoving, and he seemed to be speaking to Will, but he had stopped when she had arrived.

“Lucie,” her mother stood from the sofa, and put a hand on her shoulder. Her expression was serene, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Come here, sit.”

Lucie glanced around the room, where her family had gathered. It was eerily cold. No one had lighted up the fire in the hearth, and she wished she had taken a shawl with her. Will casted a glance at her, and passed a hand over his face. James sat on the spot Tessa had just vacated.

Lucie didn’t sit, and her mother stood close to her. “What happened?”

There it was again, the exchanged looks. Tessa looked at Will, who nodded, and kept pacing the room. Then her eyes set on Lucie. “A missive from the Clave arrived this morning,” she revealed. “Uncle Jem came to bring it personally.”

Lucie looked at her uncle. He was as serious as always. “Has someone… died?”

“If someone had died, it would be better news than this,” her father said. He was irritated. 

“Will,” his wife admonished him. “No, Lucie. Everyone is fine, gladly,” she grinned, but it was another forced smile. “The Clave has summoned you.”

“Summoned me?” she asked, trying not to seem shaken by it. “W-why?”

“Tatiana hasn’t dropped the claims, has she?” James wondered from the sofa. “Does this mean I have to go too?”

“No, James,” Tessa said firmly. “Only Lucie has to go.”

“This is insane,” Will said from his spot. “I will personally go to Tatiana and ask her-”

 _It’s not the best thing to do_ , Jem warned him. 

“Then you are saying she must go? That she must undergo a trial for something she didn’t do?” 

_I understand your anger, Will. If she doesn’t go, the Clave may ask for more. You know that Tatiana would not stop here, if she thinks she has been damaged._

“Yes, he is right,” Tessa nodded. “You have to go, Lucie. You must go. This way, your name will be officially cleared from any claim that woman may have against you.”

Lucie’s hands shook, and she had to hug herself before anyone in the room would notice. There was nothing else to do, she thought. She must do it. She must stand in front of the Clave and defend herself from the things Tatiana was accusing her. What her parents didn’t know was that the claims were actually true. 

…

The Clave had summoned Lucie for the following day. She hadn’t slept the night before, thinking about what she could answer to the questions they might pose to her. Uncle Jem had accompanied her to an empty room while they waited to get in the council hall, but this hadn’t eased her nervousness at all. Her family also told her that everything would be alright, that they would go back to the Institute and smile about this. She wasn’t too sure.

The meeting had started one hour ago, and they still couldn’t reach an agreement. Tatiana hadn’t stopped claiming that Lucie had used dark magic, but Lucie had firmly said no. The Clave had then questioned Jesse, and he had also denied that she did. Her heart warmed when she finally saw him. He seemed better. He looked less paler than usual, at least. He didn’t meet her eyes, though, and this brought heartache. 

Lucie believed that the summoning would end soon, until Tatiana proposed to try her with the Mortal Sword. She started shivering at the prospekt. The people in the room started talking loudly. Some said that the sword would at least put this delusional summoning to an end. Others, her father included, said that it would be too much to use that sword for such a silly claim. The Inquisitor silenced everyone to decide in peace.

Lucie thought that her day couldn’t go worse. There wouldn’t be any time to smile about it, because the Inquisitor decided to use the Sword, to her family’s dismay. She met their worried eyes. They couldn’t talk, and she managed a smile so they would know that she was relaxed. 

She was not.

Someone placed the sword in her hands, and she tried not to let it fall to the ground. Her hands were sweaty, something she couldn’t do much about. She sighed. She was starting to feel dizzy, and she was grateful to be sitting on a comfortable chair. 

“First question to test the Mortal Sword,” the Inquisitor said. “Are you Lucie Herondale?”

“Yes,” she murmured. 

“Did you steal the _Black Volume of the Dead_ from Tatiana Blackthorn?”

She bit her lip. How could she answer that? “I -” she began, and the sword turned colder in her hands. It sent a jolt of pain through her arm. “Yes,” she declared, and she heard gasps from the audience.

The Inquisitor nodded, but didn’t comment on that. “Did you use the _Black Volume of the Dead_ to bring Jesse Blackthorn to life?”

The sword grew heavier, but she knew she wouldn’t drop it despite her wet hands. _Lie, Lucie. Lie_ , she willed herself to deceive the sword. _You have powers, don’t you? Use them. Use them, and deceive the sword, otherwise_ … “No,” she replied, trying to keep her voice even. “I didn’t do it. I didn’t use it to revive Jesse. I didn’t.”

She couldn’t believe her ears. Had she been able to lie to the sword?

“Lies,” she heard Tatiana say, to which the Inquisitor ordered her to stay silent. 

She thought that was it. It was over. The two important questions had been asked. She was waiting for a Silent Brother to take the sword away, but no one came.

“Why did you steal the _Black Volume_ , Lucie Herondale?” the Inquisitor prodded after a while. “Did you want to use it?”

“Yes,” she answered. She didn’t have time to think. Her mouth widened in disbelief. She hadn’t been able to lie. Her answer had been impulsive.

“Well, then,” the Inquisitor said. “I think we are done here. Take the Sword,” he ordered, and the burden was taken off Lucie’s hands, and shoulders. But she didn’t feel good. The truth wasn’t setting her free. 

She gazed in Jesse’s direction. He was finally looking at her, and he was frowning.


	6. Isolation

Lucie’s hands turned cold after they were empty. Was that an aftershock of the Mortal Sword? She felt like throwing. She had never been on a ship, but she thought that if she were to travel on one, that would be the sensation she’d feel. She didn’t like it. 

“We’ll take our time to deliberate,” the Inquisitor said, and left the room with some of the other members of the Clave. Lucie noticed that Charlotte, who was the Consul, was with them. She spared Lucie a quick glance, filled with worry. She was aware that she couldn’t help her situation either, no matter her position. When they left the room, she dared another look at Jesse. He rose from his chair, and walked towards her. 

Her mouth opened in surprise. She had been waiting for that moment for days. The moment she could finally see him. Her family surrounded her before Jesse could come close, and she frowned. He managed a smile behind her, and returned to his place. She thought how sad it was. She was bathed in a circle of affection and love, with her parents assuring her that she hadn’t done anything wrong. She shifted her attention on them not to seem too suspicious, until the Inquisitor and the other members returned and everyone sat down.

The Inquisitor cleared their voice. “We have had a hard time making a decision, but we believe that this is the best solution for this situation,” they said. “We decided to punish Lucie Herondale with two years of exile, starting next week.”

The crowd started talking louder, but Lucie’s ears weren’t working anymore. She froze in her seat.

“Just because she stole a book she never used?” someone asked, and she didn’t know if it was someone from her family. “She didn’t break the law!”

“Silence, please. The law is hard, but it is the law,” the Inquisitor remarked severely. “And the law is the law to everyone. Even our children, Herondale.”

  
  


…

  
  


It all happened in a blur, and Lucie still hadn’t realized that she would be leaving the Institute in a few hours. They had let her go back with her family, but they had still considered her like a semi-criminal. Tatiana hadn’t been happy about the outcome, and she requested that they stripped Lucie’s marks, and they kicked her to the curb. The Inquisitor stayed neutral, and ordered Tatiana to stay silent, since she had no authority over the Clave’s decision.

She hadn’t dared to look at Jesse after the verdict. Was he satisfied? Was he hurt? He had sided with her when Tatiana first made her accusations, but what if that was a trap to send her away from her family? What if it was payback? He told her that his mother didn’t love her family because of events from the past, but that was too much, even for her. Was it? 

Her father had tried to put a word with the Inquisitor after the verdict, but they were unshakable. They even went as far as to threaten his position as the head of the London Institute. Lucie insisted that he didn’t risk it, and that she had to face the consequences of her actions. She had admitted to her family that she had indeed stolen the book in order to use it. It was half a lie, since it was Grace who had given it to her, but Lucie didn’t want to put her into this. She was already in a tough situation as it was. She would be the only one to face the music. 

That she had revived Jesse, that much was true. She was still wondering why the sword had let her outright lie. It wasn’t possible, since the sword pushed the truth out of people. She was thankful for that, at least. If she had uttered another  _ yes _ , she was sure she would be with mundanes now. She shivered when she thought about the possibility. She would never be able to see her parents anymore. The exile would last two years. What were two years in comparison to a whole lifetime without her loved ones?

She sighed as she arranged her things. “I really wish you didn’t have to do that,” Cordelia said. She had spent the last two days with Lucie. “That woman is insane.”

“She is,” Lucie agreed. “We can’t help it,” she added with resentment, trying not to shed a tear. She had ordered herself she wouldn’t cry in front of the people she loved.

“Do you at least know where they are sending you?”

“I still don’t,” she informed her. “I guess I’ll know when I’ll get there.” She was gloomy as she finished putting everything she needed in her trunk. She decided she wouldn’t bring many books with her, but she wouldn’t leave her typewriter behind. That machine was important for her survival.

“The carriage is here, Lucie,” her mother called from the door, and she and Cordelia exchanged a look. 

She would tear up, she knew it. Cordelia enveloped in a tight hug, and started crying. “I will miss you, Lucie. Promise me you’ll write me letters. Can you write, right?”

“Yes, I suppose it’s not against the rules,” she said, and stifled a sob.

The evening before, Lucie’s parents had thrown a celebration in the ballroom so she could say goodbye to her relatives and friends. She was convinced Jesse would come with the Lightwoods, but he didn’t. She didn’t ask about him, although she was tempted to. She had done her best not to cry, but it had been impossible. It would be harder not to weep now.

Lucie told her mother to wait, because she needed to retrieve one last thing, and to wait for her downstairs. Cordelia asked if she wanted company, but Lucie told her friend to go too. She didn’t wonder why, but perhaps, she knew. Lucie wanted to be alone to say goodbye to the Institute too. She had already walked around each room to ingrain the details in her mind. She knew she wouldn’t remember everything. It would cost her to say farewell to the people she loved. That was a bitter price to pay, although she was aware that she had done something wrong. She thought the Clave would have punished her more harshly.

Once she was ready, she went downstairs. Her family was gathered by the door. There was Cordelia, who she considered like a sister, who was already moving to tears, a handkerchief in her hands to wipe her eyes. Her brother James stood by his fiancée’s side, his hand behind her back as to console her. He wasn’t crying, but he had shed his good deal of tears already. Then, there were her parents. Her mother was weeping silently as usual, but she was also grinning. Lucie knew that smile was an encouragement, a way to be positive despite it all. Her father broke down when he saw her. He had always been the emotional type, but she knew that he would be alright. 

They all went outside, where a black carriage waited for Lucie. Her uncle Jem was also there, waiting. James helped her trunk in the vehicle, which meant that their time was up. 

“I promise that I’ll write a lot,” she said, her voice broken by the tears. “I’ll send pieces of my writing too, so you can read them.”

“We will also write to you, Lucie. Don’t you worry,” Will reassured her. 

She hugged each one of them until Jem advised them that they had to go. Lucie and her uncle got in the carriage, and it took off without warning. The last thing she saw was her family trying to hold in tears and behind them, what used to be her home until two minutes ago.

  
  


…

  
  


_ We are here, Lucie. _

Jem’s voice in her mind woke her up. Her eyes adjusted to the dark outside, and she sat up straighter. She had fallen asleep at some point during the trip. She was exhausted not only because of the journey, but also because she hadn’t stopped crying after she left London. She hadn’t been able to stop herself. Jem’s presence had been reassuring. She knew that even if he couldn’t speak much, he supported her silently. It would have been worse if she had been left alone or with another Silent Brother. 

She gathered her skirts and exited the carriage. It was extremely chilly that night, although it was almost summer. She tried to understand where she was, but the night was too dark to take notice of her surroundings. She could make out trees all around. 

Jem started walking, and she followed.  _ The driver will bring your trunk inside _ , he informed her. He walked briskly as usual, while she glanced around. 

There were several different noises in this place.  _ Was that an owl? _ She could smell the scent of leaves after rain too. She had been distracted that she didn’t notice that they had reached the main door. The wood was dark, she suspected it was ebony. She would inspect it the following day, she decided, and added it to the list of things to do to pass the time. 

She opened the door, and saw that at least there were a few sources of light inside. The driver had meanwhile taken her trunk there, and she was about to get in, when Jem stopped her.

_ I’m afraid I must go _ , uncle Jem said.  _ My duty was just to take you here. I know you will make it, Lucie. I believe in you. _

He didn’t give her time to answer, that he started walking away. “Wait, wait,” she hurried after him, and he stopped. “At least, tell me where we are. Please.”

He took several minutes to answer, that Lucie thought he wouldn’t disclose this information. It wasn’t like she would run away. 

_ This is the Cornwall Institute _ , he replied. And then, without adding more, he left. 

  
  


…

  
  
  


It was odd. Lucie had written several stories where her main protagonist was alone during some parts of her journey, but she had never known what it meant until now. She waited to take a tour until the morning after she arrived. The Cornwall Institute was small, all black and grey stone, and was deserted save for a cook slash custodian who had the duty of taking care of the property. No one else apparently lived there.

The cook seemed to be taking good care of it, at least. The room she had chosen to occupy was tidy and it didn’t smell like a sewer. The woman told Lucie that she didn’t live at the Institute, and that she would only come to cook and clean, which meant that she would be alone for most of the day. She wanted to cry, and she did. She thought about her family, about her friends. About Jesse. It would be impossible to have news about him from that place. They were still in the British Isles, but not within reach. She couldn’t even escape in order to meet him in secret. She thought that if she hadn’t tried to bring him back, this wouldn’t have happened. And yet, she would have done it again.

She had already written a letter to her family during the first week, and she was writing another one while she waited for the cook to get there, hoping she would have a letter for her. It was barely midday when she heard noises coming from the corridor, and she rose from her chair with the pretense that she had to take a break. The truth was that she wanted to meet the woman so they could talk. 

She was about to open her door when she heard a grunt. It didn’t look like it came from a feminine voice, but she might be hallucinating. She grabbed a book from the desk and exited the room. Better safe than sorry.

The door of the room next to hers was open, because the light of the afternoon sun bathed the corridor with brilliant tones. She tried to get in that room when she got there. She wanted to choose her room since she would spend two years there, but the door was locked. 

She advanced quietly. The sunlight reflected the shadow of the person inside. She hadn’t hallucinated yet, it seemed. She held the book higher, and she struck the person on the back two or three times to make her point. It was definitely not a woman.

“Who are you?” she asked warily, trying to look confident.

“Thanks for the warm welcome, Lucie.”

She opened her mouth in surprise. “Forget it. I must really be hallucinating,” she shook her head. 

“What?”

“No, Lucie. Wait. You hit him with the book,” she told herself, frowning. “He is real. By the angel, Jesse!” 

“Yes?”

“You are here.”

“I swear, I’m not a ghost,” he teased her with a smirk. 

She couldn’t help herself. She cut the distance between them and she hugged him, inhaling his scent. He smelled like clean clothes and moss. She placed her head on his shoulder, forgetting that they weren’t much acquainted. She was about to detach herself from him, when his arm came about her upper back. He was returning the hug. Being the gentleman boy Lucie had known when he was a ghost, he was trying not to cross the line. The embrace lasted longer than Lucie intended, but he didn’t say anything. 

  
  


…

  
  


Come evening, Lucie believed that Jesse would leave. She still hadn’t asked why he was there. Not that she minded, of course, but she was afraid that he would tell her that he just came for a courtesy visit. They ate lunch and dinner together. It felt so domestic, so heartwarming. 

Cath, the cook, she had once worked for his grandparents in London. She told Lucie while they were momentarily alone. She had the perfect occasion to ask him when they decided to take a walk in the flower garden outside of the Institute after they ate their meal. She didn’t see any carriage in view, which meant that he was probably staying.

“It’s a beautiful sunset, isn’t it?” she asked casually. 

He glanced at her and smiled. “You can tell that winter is over, and nature is different, yes.”

“I can’t remember I’ve ever seen something like this before,” she commented. “You know London is full of smoke coming from the factories and the chimneys. You can never see the sky as it is, the way you can see it in the countryside.”

“I wouldn’t define this place in the countryside,” he frowned. “We’re closer to the ocean than you really think, Lucie.”

“And how do you know that?” she asked, curious.

“I know because I’ve paid attention while I was coming here,” he replied.

“It was night when I came,” she retorted, and crossed her arms on her chest.  _ Don’t be a petulant child, Lucie. Don’t.  _ She relaxed her arms again. “I couldn’t possibly see.”

“Yes, I understand,” he nodded. “The truth is that I’ve already been here, when I was a child. This place belonged to someone in my family.”

“Does this mean this Institute is yours?”

“You know better than me that Institutes can’t be inherited, Lucie,” he said. “It was just being taken care of by the Blackthorns for generations, but at some point, everyone moved to London and it was left in the care of a guardian.”

She nodded, and looked at the path in front of them. They had reached the gates, and Lucie could finally see that there were three separate roads in front of them. She hadn’t noticed, and she had been here for a week already. 

“I still have to explore this place,” she said. “I didn’t feel like walking out of the building,”  _ alone _ , she wanted to add, but bit her lip. “Since I thought I’d have plenty of time to do that,” she chuckled softly, and looked away for a moment.

“Then we could go see the ocean one of these days,” he proposed, and Lucie’s heart quickened its pace. She smiled widely before she knew. “What do you say?”

She hoped she didn’t look silly. “I say that is a plan.”


	7. Worry

Lucie felt less alone with Jesse sharing the Institute with her, but this didn’t mean she was content. She brimmed with excitement every time she checked if a letter had arrived. When she found the mailbox empty, though, that rush fell to minimal levels. Jesse’s presence was making up for the momentarily lack of contact with the other people she loved, but she still felt like something was wrong back home, and couldn’t point out what. Why weren’t they answering her letters?

_ It’s just been two weeks, Lucie. Do not fret, _ she told herself _.  _ She crossed her arms on her chest and leaned on the banister of the main stairs located in front of the dark entrance door. She covered her face, and heaved a sigh. She had too much time on her hands, it was making her think about too much. She needed to do something.

“There are some books we could read in the library,” a voice came from the top of the stairs. “About my current situation.”

Lucie removed her hands from her face, and one hit the wooden banister behind her. She bit her lip in order not to grunt, and turned her head towards Jesse. “Yes?”

He descended the remaining stairs in a hurry, and stopped in front of her. “Are you okay, Lucie?”

She managed a smile and tightened her fist. She didn’t hurt her hand, but it was a little sore from the impact. “Why wouldn’t I be?” she chuckled, trying to be believable. “You’ve found some material we could use in the library?” She changed the topic.

He frowned, not convinced by her words, but he let it go. “Exactly that. I ventured there the other day. There are several books. I inspected some of the spines, and they look ancient,” he paused a second. “And forbidden.”

“Why do you think they are forbidden?”

He darkened, and glanced briefly away. “My mother told me,” he revealed. “She once said that she needed some books from this place, but I suppose my family still lived here, seven years ago. She couldn’t retrieve them.”

_ Perhaps they knew that she would use them for dark purposes _ , she thought, but didn’t say it. “Do you know what she wanted to do with these books?” she asked casually.

“She never disclosed her plans to me, I’m afraid,” he said. “But I assume it is related to your family, and the Lightwoods, and the Fairchilds.”

”Revenge,” Lucie frowned, holding her chin between her fingers. “How about we find out?”

“How about we take that walk to the beach, instead?” he proposed, grinning. “It hasn’t rained yet today. The sky is clear, we should take advantage of that.”

“I’ll go ask Cath if she can prepare some snacks we can eat,” she agreed.

  
  


…

  
  


Lucie’s mood had improved a few hours later. Her hand brushed Jesse’s as they walked, and her cheeks warmed at the touch. She glanced at him, and he was smiling. Was he thinking the same thing she was thinking or was he just happy? The weather was treating them nicely, and it put them in a good mood. That must have been it. 

“Ah, that’s breathtaking!” Lucie exclaimed as they neared the beach. It wasn’t far from the Institute, she might go there once she wanted to take a breath of fresh air. She hurried her pace. She had never walked on the sand, and she had never seen a picture of the shore either. She stopped to admire the view, marveling at the scenery before her.

“The ocean is fascinating,” Jesse commented beside her. 

“This would be the perfect place to write.”

“Only when the wind is not strong, though. Otherwise, you’d get a throat ache.”

“I could wear a scarf.”

“Nothing can stop you, I see.” 

“You’re completely right,” she said, and started taking off her shoes and stockings carefully. She had already planned to do this, so she had worn shorter stockings for the occasion. 

She casted a glance at him. He was looking at her with a curious expression. “What are you doing, Lucie?” he asked, but she was already running towards the shoreline. 

She grabbed her skirt a little, and dipped her feet in the water. She shivered. It was chilly, but she should have expected it. It was May, and they were close to the ocean. It never got too warm and humid, not even in the summer. She retreated a little, but didn’t go back on the dry sand. She wanted to feel the water on her bare feet, it made her feel alive.

“It’s freezing,” she heard him say. He had appeared by her side, and barefoot, and was grimacing. 

“Oh, we just have to move our feet to warm up,” she said, and started doing what she suggested. The water and the sand were probably wetting and dirtying the hem of her dress, but she did not care. “It’s hard to move in a dress,” she commented. “I should have worn my gear.”

He was also doing the same, but more calmly. “Does this mean you plan to come here more often?”

“I do,” she replied firmly. “It’s refreshing, the beach. You can tell that there is another air by the water. It lets you relax, and put your thoughts aside.”

“Are you troubled by your thoughts, Lucie? Like this morning.”

So he had noticed. 

There was a soft breeze by the shore, which was also messing up her hair. He moved closer, and adjusted her hair behind her ear. Lucie was thrilled. She put a hand on her heart. Their previous brush of hands had managed to shake her. This touch was doing even more. She tried to keep her composure when she replied. “I’m thinking about my family and friends,” she confessed. “I’ve already sent them a couple of letters, but I still got no answer.”

“You’re worried they might be hurt?”

“Yes,” she replied impulsively. “Yes and no. I mean, I know they are alright, I can feel it. It’s just,” she glanced at the ocean, trying to find the words. “It was hard to separate from them. To accept that we wouldn’t see each other for two years.”

“That’s understandable. You love them.”

“Yes, I do.”

“I’m sure there is a reason for this delay. I’m sorry that it came to this.”

“Don’t even say it. Don’t. You don’t need to be sorry, Jesse. Please. You’re here, you’re alive. This is what matters the most.”

“I guess I should thank you, then. Even if I can't remember the time we spent together." 

"We will spend enough time together to make up for it," she smiled, and she saw him getting closer. She jolted when she heard a noise. “It’s a demon,” she said. “In broad daylight. I thought that we had gotten rid of these long ago.”

“Do you have any weapons with you, Lucie?”

Lucie bit her lip. “I have something at the Institute, but,” she looked around, trying to see if there was something she could use to fight, but there was nothing. The sand was spotless, not even a rock in sight. 

The demon got closer, and they retreated. She never thought she would need weapons here, but that was a lapse of judgement. 

_ Think Lucie, think.  _

The demon advanced, and passed them, and then walked away as if it had never appeared in the first place. They gazed up at each other, and then grabbed their things in the case the demon would return. At the same time, the sky opened and it started raining. 

… 

  
  


That evening, they resorted in front of the fireplace. Lucie hadn't stopped sneezing, while Jesse looked paler than usual. The rain had caught them off guard, and they couldn’t find any shelter to hide until the downpour was over. Their clothes were drenched, their hair too. The food was ruined. The first thing Lucie did was prepare herself a hot bath to wash away the smell of rain. It warmed her bones, but she still had got a cold. 

She didn’t have time to think about the demon attack, and she decided she would ask Jesse later. They agreed to look at some books to spend the remainder of the evening. 

Lucie came down to the small parlor in her robe, and carried a blanket. She shouldn't have, since Jesse was still a boy that wasn't related to her, but to hell with that. She didn't have any strength to wear a dress again, not after the ministrations she had to go through after the rain. And they would live together for two years, there wasn’t time to worry about a stranger seeing her in her night clothes. Although he was no stranger to her.

"I wonder if we'll ever find something,” she said with a deflated voice. She was tired.

"Even if we don't, we are still trying," Jesse murmured from her right. He was sitting beside her on the fluffy carpet. They were close, but still not touching. 

Lucie nodded, and sneezed again. She had brought a glass of hot tea with her, and she started sipping it. Her throat ached, and it had been like he had predicted. 

"Are you feeling any better?" 

"The warmth of the fire is helping," she adjusted the blanket around her shoulders, her back rested on the front of one the armchairs in front of the hearth. “It was stupid to dip my feet in the chilly water this morning.”

He shrugged. “I guess that couldn’t be helped,” he teased, smirking.

Lucie raised an eyebrow, but she smiled. “Are you implying that I’m off the rails?” she questioned. She was joking, of course. She stood on her knees, so she would be taller than him. “Sir, you offend me. I’m a lady, not a rogue,” she said with conviction, her chin raised to feign superiority. 

“My lady, I’m just stating the truth,” he played along, which amused Lucie.

“You’re irreverent and ungentlemanly, sir. Just because a lady dipped her feet in the water, doesn’t mean she’s unlady-like. May I remind you, sir, you also did the same thing?”

“I didn’t end up with a cold, though,” he cocked his head on the side. 

Lucie huffed, and sat on the carpet again, but she hit her head on the arm of the chair, momentarily losing balance. It looked like dejavu. “Ouch,” she lamented, touching the back of her neck. 

“Lucie, be careful,” he said, and his hand covered hers on the nape of her neck. He retreated his hand as soon as she glanced at it. 

“Sir, you can’t touch a lady like that,” Lucie warned him. “You should ask for her permission first,” she continued. She was still teasing. 

He quirked an eyebrow at her, his pupils flared. “Perhaps I’m not the gentleman you believe I am, Lucie,” he said with a serious tone. “Perhaps I’m the rogue one.”

Her lips parted, and she gasped. “You’re definitely not a rogue,” she murmured quietly, before she surprised herself and leaned in closer to him. Her lips brushed his tentatively. She supported herself by putting a hand on his shoulder. It was swift, chaste. She didn’t know how she mustered the courage to do that, and when she realized what she was doing, she backed off. “I am,” she said, finishing her sentence.

“If you think this gesture was remotely rogue, my lady, you are wrong,” he whispered back in the same placid tone she used. He licked his lips, which made Lucie’s heart do a somersault. “I could show you what being rogue means, if you’ll let me.”

Her eyes gleamed, and her lips parted in surprise again. She nodded. Wait. Was he serious? 

Jesse brushed the side of her cheek with his thumb before sliding even closer to her. She was sure her heart would fall out of her chest at this rate. She saw his green eyes sparkle with desire - or perhaps was it the effect of the fire? - and then his lips pressed on hers. 

She didn’t know what to do. She had never kissed anyone, not even as a joke, or roleplay. She decided that she would only kiss the person she was going to marry. Someone special. Currently, that person was Jesse.

If he had stayed dead, they could have never shared a kiss. 

She had written character kissing in her novels, but nothing resembled the real thing. Kissing Jesse left her breathless, aching for air. It wasn’t just a matter of lips touching. His lips were warm and full, and soft to the touch. She could also inhale his scent this close, and the warmth of his body. She didn’t want to part from him.

She pressed her fingers to her lips when he moved away from her. She felt dizzy, and perhaps he was too. He was holding his head in his hands. She didn’t know what to make of that reaction. When Jesse raised his head again, he smiled at her. But it still didn’t ease her worries. He clutched at his chest, and hissed in pain before trying to hold himself on the small table nearby. 

“What’s wrong?” she questioned with urgency. “Jesse,” she called, but his eyes were already shut. He had fainted. 

Her heart thudded in her chest, but from fear. She saw a patch of black on his stark white shirt, and she panicked. She undid the buttons of his white shirt to see what was underneath. A chill went through her when she saw his skin had turned almost black right on his heart.


	8. Surprise

Lucie didn’t know what to do. Her chest tightened with fear; she couldn’t call anyone. What could she do? She placed a hand above his heart. She could feel the beat, and this reassured her, but didn’t diminish her panic. 

“Is he okay?” 

She lifted her chin to look at Cath, the cook. Right, they had yet to eat dinner. She was holding a basket, and Lucie realized her hands were trembling. “I don’t know. I don’t know,” she broke down. “We were here, and then -”

“What did you do?” the woman asked, lowering herself on the floor to look at Jesse’s motionless body. Her tone was slightly accusatory, as if she was blaming Lucie. “Did you do something?” she asked again.

“We were…” she whispered, biting her lip, “we were just kissing.” Saying it out loud made it even more real. They were kissing and he fainted. At least she would remember her first kiss forever, given the circumstances. “And then, he fainted.”

Lucie saw Cath’s dirty blonde hair fall towards Jesse’s body. She inspected the black spot on his chest, and gasped audibly. She rose from the carpet and left the room without another word, leaving her to tend to him. Perhaps she went to ask for help, but who could she have called? Would Silent Brothers help them even if they were exiled? 

She held Jesse’s hand. It was colder than usual, which concerned her. She noticed he looked quite pale after they returned to the Institute. The demon that wanted to attack them on the beach might have hurt him. Lucie touched his cheek, then his neck, and checked his breathing again. His beats looked regular, but she wasn’t an expert, she couldn’t be too sure. 

Then, she remembered.  _ I could draw a rune _ , she thought, and she retrieved her stele from her pocket. It was a habit she was too used to, to stop doing it altogether just because she wasn’t in London anymore. She drew one right on his forearm, on the same spot she drew it before they went inside his house to return the Black Volume of the Dead. 

She held her breath, waiting for something to happen, fearing that the iratze would not work, when Jesse finally opened his eyes. 

He grunted, and glanced around, until his eyes found hers. “Why am I on the floor?”

“You fainted,” she answered, managing a reassuring smile. She hoped he hadn’t lost his memories again. 

“Yes, I remember,” he touched his forehead, and tried to sit down. His hand clutched at his open shirt, and he frowned. 

Lucie couldn’t help but look. The black spot on his chest had vanished, replaced by fair skin. “It’s gone,” she murmured, covering her mouth in disbelief. 

She told him about the blackness on his heart. About him fainting right after their kiss, and Cath finding them there, and going to ask for help. He listened, puzzled, unable to understand what might have caused it. Lucie was glad that it was gone. He might have been bitten by the demon, and the healing rune had healed it.

Cath returned and insisted that she accompanied Jesse to bed, and that he ate his dinner there. Lucie agreed, although he didn’t seem like he wanted to rest. The color had returned to his face, and he asked her to continue their reading in his bedroom, but the cook sent her away before she could even bring the books. Lucie stood by the door, and watched as the woman gave him something to drink, assisting him as if he were ill. She had never manifested such behavior, not even when they were alone. Not that Lucie had been unwell ever since she arrived at the Institute, but Cath had always been reserved and cold. Perhaps she acted like that because she had known Jesse for a longer time and technically worked for his family. 

She came to the Institute with a Silent Brother before the sun rose, on the following day. She didn’t tell Lucie, which annoyed her and worried her at the same time. What if Jesse’s health had worsened overnight? She found out because she glanced outside her window at the right time, when they were leaving. She noticed there was no carriage waiting for the Brother, and that he spent a great deal of time talking to Cath, which was unusual since they weren’t so talkative. She also gave him an envelope, and Lucie wondered what it contained. 

She suddenly remembered about her letters, and how she had asked Cath to deliver them. She didn’t want to suspect her, but what if the woman hadn’t sent her messages? She might dislike Lucie’s family, for all she knew. Anything. 

The Silent Brother took off his parchment colored robe, and Lucie saw his light hair. He casted one last glance at the cook, and then he disappeared. Lucie was convinced that the woman was hiding something, because she was sure that man wasn’t part of the brotherhood at all. A Silent Brother would have never removed their robe. 

She needed to investigate, and she needed to do it soon. She stationed herself by her door, and used a rune to amplify her hearing. She thought the woman would go check on Jesse upon her return, and she was right. It was the perfect moment to sneak out and go in the kitchen to check the basket the woman usually brought with her every day. There might be evidence in there.

Lucie tried to be as quiet as possible, hoping that the stealth rune would last until she was done. Jesse’s door was shut, and she wondered whether he was awake or not. Either way, she found Cath’s behavior sketchy.

The Cornwall Institute wasn’t big, which made the trip to the kitchen shorter than it would have been at the London Institute. She found what she was looking for in an instant. It was sitting on the table, next a few scattered dishes with food. She opened the wicker basket with urgent hands, but she sighed in defeat when she realized there was just food inside, and some vials of something called  _ fallax _ . Lucie grabbed one, and fled the kitchen. 

…

  
  


“What do you think that bottle is?” Lucie asked when they were finally alone, in the training room, wearing their training clothes, observing the vial. They agreed on training together after the attack of the day before, in case more demons planned on visiting them. They couldn’t be caught unprepared. She had already told him about the scene she witnessed that morning and her concerns about the cook. 

They were sitting on a wooden trunk, taking a short break from practice. Jesse had never been trained to fight. His mother had never wanted him nor his sister Grace to take becoming a shadowhunter into consideration. Lucie wasn’t a teacher, but she could train with him, and teach him the basics. She knew he was a fast learner.

Jesse frowned. “It says  _ fallax _ . It means deceptive in Latin,” he explained. “What could it be? What is false?”

She shrugged, putting the bottle aside where it wouldn’t fall. “Could it be a medicine?”

“A medicine to fake something? No, I don’t think so,” he remarked. He passed a hand through his black hair and sighed. “She didn’t give me anything when she visited me at dawn, of this I’m sure. I can’t guarantee before then, because I was asleep.”

“Yes, I remember you said you were a heavy sleeper,” she grinned.

“It’s not bad, come on. Especially if there was a storm and the window panes kept slamming against the sill for the whole night.”

“Were they… at your house in Chiswick?”

He smiled. “You saw in which condition was the property, Lucie,” he told her. “If something broke, it was broken. My mother didn’t fix anything. On the other hand, I believe she’s done more harm than good.”

Lucie grunted. “She should be denounced, that woman. No offense.”

“None taken,” he replied calmly. “That is the reason we are doing research. Who knows, I may recall what happened before I died. I’ve got two years.”

“One year and ten months,” she corrected him, and they both laughed. “Alright, I think the break is over,” she declared, and stood up from her seat, taking her blade. 

He followed her, taking possession of another blade. Lucie wondered what happened to the Blackthorn sword, but it was probably back at his house, guarded. She doubted Tatiana would ever give it back, even though he was the only one entitled to have it.

“Alright, show me what you’ve got,” she squared her shoulders, ready to fight. It wasn’t a real fight, but this didn’t mean she wouldn’t give her best.

Jesse jumped forward, surprising her, and she had to dodge in order to avoid his jab. She instinctively smiled, turned around, and surprised him as she went behind him and threatened him with her blade. She heard him chuckle, and then he used his blade as leverage to lower her hand. He faced her now, and they were close. It wasn’t time to think about that, because he raised his blade again, and she responded with hers. The weapons clanged against each other, and he retreated until his back hit the wall, her blade close to his throat. 

A muscle in his jaw twitched, and she thought he would declare her victory, but he grabbed her wrist, instead, and gently removed it from his neck. She let him do it, momentarily distracted by his piercing eyes. He lowered his face towards hers, and Lucie thought he was going to kiss her, when someone cleared their voice from the door, and she backed away from him.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your  _ rendez-vous _ , but you might not want to be found too close to that boy by your father.”

“My father?” Lucie’s eyes widened in surprise. 

Magnus grinned, and rolled his eyes. Before he could add more, Will stumbled in the training room followed by Tessa. 

“Lucie!” her father said. “Lucie, by the angel!”

Will pulled her in an embrace, a very tight embrace. Lucie stood there, her arms at her sides, until she dropped the blade on the wooden floor and hugged him back. “Papa,” she cried, and her eyes sparkled with fresh tears of joy. She did the same with her mother.

“Do you want a tissue?” Magnus inquired with a dreary tone. “See? I told you she was fine, William.”

Lucie’s father turned to glare at Magnus, who still stood by the door, his arms crossed on his chest. Then he turned to her, and he touched her cheeks affectionately. “I had to see for myself, Magnus,” he retorted. “Since we haven’t heard from her for two months.”

“She’s right here, why are you speaking to her in third person, huh?” Magnus rolled his eyes, and moved towards them. “I’m glad you are fine, Lucie Herondale, by the way.”

“I’m Tessa, Lucie’s mother,” they all glanced at Tessa, who had approached Jesse by the wall. Lucie had forgotten about him, lost in the moment of happiness and joy after seeing her parents. “It’s a pleasure finally meeting you.”

“The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Herondale,” he replied sheepishly. “I’m Jesse Blackthorn.”

Will frowned, and looked at Tessa, then at Jesse. “How come you’re here?” he didn’t use an accusatory tone, but he seemed wary. “I mean, I knew you were here. But I thought there would be an adult with you, a -” he huffed, “a supervisor.”

“There is a cook, sir,” Jesse said. “She comes twice a day.”

Lucie saw her father’s expression fall. His eyes widened, and he looked irritated. “I’m going to have a word with the Clave about this,” he told them. 

“Ah, William. Leave your daughter alone,” Magnus said, coming closer. “They are young. And I’m sure the boy has manners.”

“He better,” he replied firmly, glancing at the both of them with a frown. 

…

Lucie advised everyone to wait in the drawing room, so she could change into something else. Will had a fit when he realized Jesse’s room was next to hers, but her mother dragged him away before he could say more. Once she was ready, she opened her door, and found Magnus waiting for her outside.

“The boy already went in the drawing room,” he shrugged, and Lucie hoped that her father wouldn’t bother Jesse too much. “I found this in the training room,” he revealed, showing the vial of  _ fallax  _ that she was discussing with Jesse before they arrived. “Who gave it to you? And most important, what are you doing with this? If the Clave finds out, you’d be lucky they even let you stay on this continent.”

Lucie hurried Magnus in her room, and closed the door behind them. “It’s not mine,” she said. “We were trying to investigate what this was for,” she explained, then she sighed. She could trust Magnus, she told herself. “We found it in the basket of our cook.”

Magnus’s eyebrow rose in suspicion. “The cook, you say,” he frowned. “This is a potion, actually. A potion to change a person’s appearance.”

She gasped. “There were a few bottles of this in the basket.”

“Interesting,” Magnus scratched his chin. “You might want to monitor this person, then,” he said casually, looking at something on Lucie’s desk. “They may not be who they say they are.”

“We’ll keep our eyes open,” she promised, and Magnus smirked. “And -” 

“You are about to ask me another favor,” he said. Lucie nodded nervously. “Come on, shoot,” he rolled his eyes. “I’m all ears.”

…

  
  


Lucie’s suspicions on Cath grew when her parents told her that they hadn’t received any letter from her. She knew that there must have been a reason why they hadn’t replied, and now she was sure that the cook had tampered her mail. Added to the vial, it made Cath’s character even more shady. 

Will told Lucie that they had asked for Magnus’ help after they didn’t get any news from her. They asked him to change the direction of the portal in the crypt of the London Institute, and he had agreed. This way, Tessa told her, they could come visit her whenever they want, although not too frequently because the Clave didn’t know about it and they must keep it a secret. They could also go to the London Institute with the same Portal, but they shouldn’t do it without warning, in case someone found out.

Lucie told Magnus that the cook usually came around six in the evening, and he urged her parents to leave, lest Cath found them there and reported to the Clave. It was hard to part a second time, but at least Lucie felt reassured that with the Portal, they could see each other more often. 

They both waved goodbye to Will and Tessa, who disappeared into the Portal in a heartbeat. Before Magnus left, he winked at Lucie and murmured a: “see you later”.


	9. Full Circle

Magnus came in the afternoon, right after the cook had left. Lucie wondered if he knew how to get anywhere at the perfect moment, or if he was just lucky to show up when no one was around. She had already briefed Jesse about her intentions, of course. She wouldn’t have done anything without his consent. He was grateful for her help, but he knew that it cost a lot to pay a warlock to perform a spell, and he didn’t want Lucie to spend money on him. But Magnus didn’t ask for cash.

“Let’s see,” he had said, arms crossed on his chest as he looked around Lucie’s room. “Perhaps you could make me the main protagonist of your next novel.”

“Are you sure you really don’t want any payment?”

“Oh, sweet child. Don’t make me change my mind” he shrugged, and rolled his eyes. “Either you agree, or you don’t. It’s simple.”

And Lucie had agreed. 

It was a small price to pay for her, dedicating an entire novel to Magnus. She didn’t know much about him, but he had the perfect personality to be the hero of her next book. He only made her promise that she wouldn’t kill him. Lucie had chuckled.

They decided to try this in Lucie’s room. Any other room of the Institute would be too exposed if Cath decided to come out of the blue. Suspecting the cook had something to do with Jesse fainting after their first kiss as well, she might go check on him. As a consequence, Lucie’s chamber was safer than any other room. The cook wouldn’t bother to check on her.

“I want to warn you, though,” Magnus said. “If this goes well - and it will go well, since I trust myself - he might not remember these last few months he spent with you. And  _ all  _ of the things he did with you,” he told them, not going into detail, but she knew what he meant.

Jesse would forget their bonding during the exile. He would forget their days reading together and he would forget their first kiss in front of the fireplace. It would be like going back to the start, when he was still a ghost. 

“Let’s do it,” Jesse said with confidence. 

“Are you sure?” Lucie asked, frowning. 

He turned to her, and he smiled. He grabbed her hand in his, and Lucie thought about all the times he used to do that in the past. The difference was that now she could feel his hand and its warmth. “Lucie,” he said softly. “I know what you’re thinking, but you mustn’t be afraid. You told me I was attached to you in the past, and I grew attached to you again in the present, although I did not remember what we shared before this life. I’m sure I would do it again, if my memories were to be corrupted.”

Lucie forced a smile, and tried to convince herself that he was right. She trusted Magnus, and she knew he wouldn’t harm Jesse. She nodded, and Magnus urged him to sit down on her bed. It would be easier that way. He asked Jesse to shut his eyes. He put his hands on the sides of Jesse’s head, and murmured some words to himself. “Mmmh, I wonder who did this. It’s difficult to code, but not impossible to crack.”

“What do you mean?” Lucie asked. 

“Someone blocked his memories, so you were right there was something wrong,” he revealed. “And whoever did it, it wasn’t a weak warlock, but a powerful one.”

“Can you find out who did it?”

Magnus laughed. “I’m sorry, but there is no signature in magic. I mean, it’s not like the person who casts a spell writes their name under it. There are traces, but,” he shook his head. “You’re distracting me. Please, stay silent.”

Lucie did as she was asked, and waited. Waited until Magnus stopped his ministrations around Jesse’s hair. She didn’t understand a word he said to him, and wondered when he would stop. She was curious to see what would happen, and prepared herself for the worst.

“Alright, it’s done,” Magnus announced, and Lucie’s heart raced. 

Magnus moved away from Jesse, and he slowly opened his eyes. He squinted because of the light bathing the room in yellow hues. There was nothing different from a few minutes before. He glanced at the window, and his neutral expression turned to astonishment. Lucie wondered if the spell had erased Jesse's memories completely. 

"Lucie," he murmured, shaken, casting a long glance at his hands. Quite disoriented. "Lucie." 

"Yes, it's me," she replied softly. "Do you remember me?" 

“Lucie, what,” he frowned. “What did you do?”

"I brought you back to life," Lucie revealed, and she heard Magnus gasp. "At least, that's what I think. The Mortal Sword didn't say so." 

"I don't care what the Sword said," he replied severely, almost angry. "I asked you not to bring me back. That you didn't owe the dead." He sighed, and touched his forehead. "How much time?" 

"Two months." 

"I've been alive? I can't," he said, his voice pained, "I can't remember." 

Her heart broke in tiny little pieces. "We are at the Cornwall Institute right now." 

"Cornwall… Institute?" his frown deepened, and she knew it was too much information in too little time. "What happened?" 

"Exile," Lucie's voice trembled. "This is why we're here." 

Jesse's eyes widened. "This is why I wished you wouldn't have done it." 

“I promised I would do it. I promised I would revive you, Jesse." 

“You’ve been exiled, Lucie.”

“We’ve been exiled  _ together _ ,” she underlined, and sighed. 

“My life is not worth two years without your parents and friends. Why would you risk everything like that?”

“Because I love you,” she said. She clenched her hands into fists, and left the room, not giving him time to answer her. 

… 

Lucie could still feel her cheeks warm after she rushed out of her room. What was she thinking? She held her face, embarrassed, and walked towards the path that led to the beach. The sun was setting, but there was still light. She would return before it would be too dark. She knew the way. She had already been there. 

_ How wrong was she? _ Once she reached the beach where she and Jesse went a few days before, the sun had already been replaced by the moon. The beach was darkening, and Lucie used her witchlight to see better. Why had she come there? Right, because she felt like she had just embarrassed herself with her declaration of love, that she was scared to hear what he thought about that. She was also disheartened by Jesse's rage about being alive. After all, she had brought him back against his will, that much was true. 

She sighed, and turned around just in time to see that she wasn’t alone. Her company turned out to be the last person she expected to see.

“Cath?” she inquired, and her knees wobbled from fear. If the woman wasn’t who she claimed she was, then it wasn’t a good idea to be alone with her. At the same time, she could investigate.  _ Come on, Lucie. Don’t be scared. _

“Such a bold girl,” she sneered, advancing with a feline and confident step despite they were on the uneven sand. “You are a witch,” she told Lucie with an accusing tone, her face a mask of disapproval.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she replied, and suddenly realized that the woman held a sword in her hands. “The Blackthorn Sword,” she paled, and then everything clicked into place.

“Stupid little Herondale girl,” the woman spat, getting nearer. “Not only did you steal my book, you also stole my son,” she pointed her finger at her, and Lucie was reminded of the moment she did the same thing during her trial.

She would recognize that tone anywhere. _ Tatiana Blackthorn.  _

“I didn’t steal anything,” Lucie inched backward as she advanced, holding the sword by her side menacingly. “Let alone your son. He decided to come here on his own freewill, that silly boy,” she rolled her eyes to add more effect. 

Jesse had been impulsive to ask to be tried by the Mortal Sword, while he could have lived his life at her aunt Cecily and uncle Gabriel’s home. She couldn’t deny that she was glad that he did come there to spend the remainder of her exile in her company. It was selfish, but Lucie had never been selfish in her life. 

“We could have spent the rest of our days together in peace,” Tatiana continued, quite melancholic. “That’s why I came here. That’s why I disposed of the real cook. I needed to be close to my son again, and take him away when you’d least expect it.”

Lucie’s lower lip trembled when she spoke. “Did you kill the woman?”  _ Did you plan to kill me too _ ? She wanted to add, but she guessed that was stupid to ask. It was clear that she meant to use the sword to hurt her.

“By the angel, no,” she answered coldly. “I sent her away to New York, pretending her services here weren’t needed anymore.”

Lucie didn’t know if that was the truth, but she promised to investigate - if she survived this evening. She needed to keep the woman talking, and distract her. She was almost by water’s edge. If she backed away more, she would die of asphyxiation because she would drown. Damn Tatiana. 

“Your son isn’t here, by the way,” she said, trying to redirect the woman back to the Institute. She hoped Magnus hadn’t left, so at least Jesse wouldn’t be alone. “He’s in his room.”

Tatiana’s eyes narrowed, and a creepy smile appeared on her face. “I will deal with him later,” she said with venom, putting the sword in front of her. “First, I need to take care of you,” she said, and Lucie lost her balance for a second.

She didn’t expect the blow, nonetheless the surge of pain that came after it. It wasn’t too dark, but she couldn’t see, her witchlight fell on the sand. She hadn’t drawn a night vision rune when she went out, because there was still light right then. She bit her lip, both for the pain and for her forgetfulness. Her left arm ached, perhaps she was bleeding. She gritted her teeth.

“I’m sure there is another way to do this,” she said calmly, hoping she did her best voice to convince Jesse’s mother. “Without using violence.”

“There is no way to do this but this way. Someone needs to pay.”

“Then let me pay, mother.”

Lucie gasped, holding her arm. She looked behind Tatiana, and her eyes widened. Jesse’s arrival was the perfect moment to do something, since his mother was distracted. She raced towards the woman, and grabbed the Blackthorn Sword, surprising her. Tatiana snarled, and Jesse ran to her and grabbed her, keeping her by the hands. 

“Jesse, my son! Let me go,” she hissed, trying to free herself. Jesse’s grip was strong, though, and didn’t let her move that much. “She is the real enemy here. It’s this girl, and all of her friends and family! They are the rot of evil!”

“No,” he said firmly. “You are.”

“What? No! I knew she would brainwash you.”

“You were the one who brainwashed me,” he replied icily, with detachment. “You killed me. You poisoned me, and then you wanted me to raise me so you could ease your guilt.”

“Damn warlock! He said you would never remember!” she screamed. 

Lucie saw some light in the distance, and several people. She recognized her parents and her uncles and her aunts. James was also with them, accompanied by Cordelia, and the rest of the Merry Thieves were there too, along with two Silent Brothers, one of them being her uncle Jem. She couldn’t help but smile, and feel relieved when they took Tatiana away. 

Her family engulfed her in a big hug and she cried, perhaps because she had just realized that she might have really died if Jesse hadn’t come. Once her family let her breathe, she met Jesse’s gaze. His uncles and aunts were overjoyed to see him, and she saw they were talking to him, hugging him and caressing his cheek affectionately. He said something to aunt Cecy before coming to her. 

“It’s over,” he murmured, serene. “Are you okay?

“Are  _ you  _ okay?” she turned the same question to him, and a smile tugged at his lips.

“Your arm,” he replied, gazing over the spot where Lucie suspected she had been hurt by the sword. 

She glanced at her arm, and saw the red gash, visible because of her short sleeves. She paled, and looked away. She took her stele from her pocket, but he stopped her. 

“Let me,” he demanded softly, and Lucie gave the object to him. He drew a rune with ease, holding her arm firmly in place, and Lucie turned her face to see the result, knowing that the wound wouldn't take much to heal. His hand lingered on her skin, and her flesh tingled. He had touched her skin after he was revived. Somehow, this time felt different.

“I think we haven’t been properly introduced,” someone said from behind Lucie, and Jesse dropped his hand. She jumped. “I’m Lucie’s brother.”

Lucie rolled her eyes, and glared at James. Way to ruin an intimate moment.  _ Was it intimate? _

“Nice to meet you, Lucie’s brother,” Jesse said, and smirked. 

“Is he for real?” James wondered, glancing at Lucie. 

“You said you were Lucie’s brother, James. What did you expect?” she told him, and they all laughed.


	10. Revival

There wasn’t time to do anything, because the moment they took Tatiana Blackthorn away, they also asked for Lucie and Jesse to come back to London.  _ It is probably temporary _ , Lucie thought, since they just needed them to testify against the woman. Deep down, she wanted to return to the Institute for good. Maybe it was too early to hope that the Clave would change their mind about their exile. She didn’t want to keep her hopes up for them to be crushed again, so she didn’t hope for anything.

That night, she enjoyed Cordelia’s company in front of the fire. The others had left already, and they had taken Jesse with them. She knew he would stay at uncle Gabriel’s house, and the thought comforted her, but she wished she could have a moment to speak with him. She was curious, but also afraid of what he might have to say about her confession. 

Had she been impulsive? Definitely. She had harbored these feelings for so long, deep in her heart, but she had never given them a proper name. Or probably just ignored them, thinking that they would just hurt her if she acknowledged them. But they were there, and couldn’t look away anymore. She wondered if things would change, once they returned to the Cornwall Institute.

“What are you thinking? Can’t you believe you’re home?” Cordelia asked, and grabbed Lucie’s hand. 

Lucie had been staring at the hearth. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening,” she apologized, and sighed. Bridget had brought them cookies when they arrived, and she took one from the plate. 

“You must be shook,” Cordelia said. “She might have killed you.”

“She wanted to kill her son,” her voice shook, and her shoulders sagged. “She tried to poison him.”

Cordelia gasped, and put a comforting hand behind Lucie’s back. “Now he is safe, though. Wait, Lucie,” she peered at her. “Do you love him?”

“Is it evident?” she wondered, and covered her face with her hands. 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Cordelia continued. “I also love James.”

Lucie frowned for a second, but then she smiled at her friend. “I knew it!” she exclaimed, and grabbed Cordelia by the shoulders. “I knew you loved him.”

There was an unspoken,  _ I wish you would have told me _ , between the two, but no one said anything. The most important thing was that the truth was out. 

…

  
  


The following morning, Lucie woke up disoriented. Then she remembered, with a bitter laugh, that she was in her room at the Institute, and in her bed. She better enjoyed it while it lasted, she thought, and got ready to go downstairs to eat breakfast. She found everyone but her parents in the kitchen. Cordelia stood from her chair and came to hug her. James, who was talking to Matthew, waved at her. The former also winked at Lucie, and gave her a tight hug. 

“How are you doing, Lucie?”

“How are you doing, Matthew?” she cocked her head to the side, one eyebrow raised. 

“He’s okay, he’s okay,” James interjected, grabbing him by the shoulders. 

“I know how to talk, thank you very much,” Matthew said, sitting down in front of Cordelia. “Let’s talk later if we have time, shall we?”

“Whenever you want,” Lucie responded, and gave him a bitter laugh, wondering if that moment would ever come. She didn’t know how much time she had left before they would ask her to go back to Cornwall.

Bridget had prepared bread and butter pudding, which was Lucie’s favorite, and she enjoyed it to the very last bite while talking to her closest friends. James told her that Christopher and Thomas would get there in a few hours with Anna, whom she hadn’t seen in two months. No one said anything about Jesse. It was as if he didn’t exist, or if they didn’t mention him because he wasn’t part of their group.

Everyone was gathered in the drawing room, when her parents finally arrived. Yes, because her father had been screaming Lucie’s name so loud that it was impossible not to know they were back. Each one of the people present stopped whatever they were doing and looked at each other, frowning. They all knew Will’s antics, so it’s not like they were surprised.

“Uncle Will must be cheerful that Lucie is back,” Christopher said, and they all laughed, until Will stumbled in the room. His cheeks were red, as if he had raced there.

Lucie came near her father, concerned. “Papa, what’s wrong?” there was fear in her tone.  _ Let’s hope he doesn’t say I have to go back. Let’s hope he doesn’t say- _

“Lucie, my dear!” Will beamed, and hugged his daughter. “They let you go!”

“Who let me go?” she questioned.

“Come on, I mean the Clave!” Will replied, glancing in Lucie’s eyes. “They decided that since you didn’t use the Black Volume after all, but just stole it, and caught the person who indeed used it in the past, they wanted to grace you with freedom. Of course, not just you. Tatiana’s boy has no blame either. On the other hand, he’s one of her victims.”

Tears welled up in Lucie’s eyes, and she couldn’t do anything but cry of joy on her father’s chest.

…

  
  


The following two weeks, they received news about Tatiana Blackthorn. She was put before the Inquisitor, tried with the Mortal Sword, and taken to the Silent City to be locked for the rest of her life. She hadn’t wanted to go to the trial, but she was asked to go as a witness. Tatiana not only admitted that she tried to kill her own son. She also planned to kill Lucie and take him away with her somewhere, and she enlisted a warlock to do that. Tatiana had uttered a name, but it later turned out to be a vagabond who lived in the slums. The warlock or whoever helped the woman might have been powerful and aware of what they were doing, if they were able to run away just like this. Lucie wondered if they ever found this person, but at this point, she did not care.

She wanted to know how Jesse was doing. Where was he, what were his thoughts. If he was feeling alone. Lucie decided to be bold and ask her mother casually over tea, the day after Tatiana’s trial. She couldn’t go on not knowing, especially after confessing her love to him. She had let two weeks fly and waited for a sign, which did not come. Was this his way to kindly reject her? She thought it wasn’t something he would do. He was too honest to just move on with his life and ignore her. If he didn’t feel the same about her, he would tell her.

“He’s decided to live at uncle Gabriel’s until he finds another place, that’s what your aunt Cecily told me,” Tessa said, sipping her white tea. “They are happy because they never got to know him, and now they can. Gideon and Sophie decided to take a trip back from Idris just so they can also spend time with him. I’m sure he’s surrounded by people who love him.”

Lucie nodded. “Yes, I’m sure it’s true.”

Once the tea was over, Lucie decided to go back to her room. She was inspired to write, or better. She hoped that writing would help her not think about Jesse. She wondered when it would be okay for her to visit him at the Lightwoods, without seeming too suspicious. They all knew that Jesse had stayed two months with her in Cornwall, but no one knew the extent of their relationship. They didn’t know they had known each other before he was revived, and that she had already developed feelings for him back then. She didn’t know how to handle all of this.

Lucie caught someone coming out of her father’s office on her way back to her room. If it wasn’t for the straight black hair, she would have thought it was her brother. But it wasn’t James. It was Jesse. She was too far to hear what they were saying, but she believed they were having a friendly conversation because she heard her father’s jovial laugh. 

She advanced. She hadn't seen Jesse for a few weeks, and her spirits soared upon seeing him. It sounded like a repeat of her first stay at the Cornwall Institute, but in a different place. 

Both men turned to her when they heard her heels on the carpet. Jesse smiled slightly, and so did Will. 

"Lulu, good morning," her father said. She widened her eyes at the mention of her nickname from him. Her cheeks warmed, and she glared at him. “Lucie, good morning,” he said again, and made an apologetic smile. 

"I didn't know you had guests," she said, trying not to look too obvious when she gazed up at Jesse. She frowned at him, trying to let him know that she would have loved to know about what he had been up to. It hurt. It felt like he had been avoiding her, but perhaps he had just been busy with his found family. “You could have called for me.”

"I was surprised too, my dear," Will replied, and Lucie bit her lip. Was she too obvious? "Mr. Blackthorn came to personally bring us the invite for an informal ball at his house." 

"A ball?" 

"It's not a ball  _ per se _ , but a party to celebrate my return," Jesse grinned. "I have decided to restore Chiswick to its splendor, with my uncles and aunts help. There is still so much to do, but I decided to start from the ballroom, which was the room which required less effort to tidy up." 

“I… see, and I’m glad to participate,” Lucie murmured. Those news lifted her mood. Warmth filled her chest, and their eyes locked for a long time, until her father cleared his voice.

“Alright, I believe Mr. Blackthorn has to go,” Will announced, and Lucie snapped back to reality, glancing away from the weird duo before her. “We will be honored to join you for this special event, next Saturday. I can’t wait to see Chiswick’s ballroom again, you know why,” he continued. Jesse nodded a greeting at Lucie before her father put an arm behind his back to lead him away from her. 

She asked herself why Jesse would know the reason her father wanted to see his ballroom again, but it probably had to do his and her mother’s past. She shrugged.

…

  
  


Saturday couldn’t come any sooner, but Lucie knew that time was slower when one was eager to do something they wanted. Lucie’s mother Tessa had taken her daughter to Bond Street to buy her a new dress for the event. It wasn’t the first time they had shopped for dresses together, and Lucie was happy with the suggestion because she had already deemed all of her clothes unfit for the occasion. She wasn’t vain, but she thought she needed a fresh start, and her mother agreed, so they spent more than they would normally do. This night would also celebrate the end of Lucie’s exile, and she wanted to look good.

And she thought she did. She chose an embellished satin blue dress with short sleeves, which complemented her eyes, and put her hair up. She reached Chiswick with her family, but once the carriage stopped, she ran off. No one said anything, since it wasn’t rare for Lucie to go inside and go find her friends. She caught sight of Cordelia, and she waved at her, but before she could reach her, Lucie muttered that she had to do something first. 

She had thought a lot during the last few days, and resolved that she needed to act. It was nor or never. She couldn’t wait for Jesse anymore to make the first step. If he would ever move, that is. She found him by the table filled with cocktails and food, speaking to a few people she couldn’t recognize. His eyes found Lucie’s in an instant, and he excused himself and went to her. She thought he looked amazing in his black and white evening suit.

“You came,” he said softly. “You’re late.”

Lucie rolled her eyes. She knew he was joking. “The people who count always come late,” she told him, smirking, and raised an eyebrow at him. 

He grinned. “Come on, let’s go somewhere quieter to talk,” he suggested, and Lucie followed him outside of the ballroom, which was in a separate wing of the building. 

There were a lot of people, she saw, all over the property. He must have invited the whole Clave. She was too distracted looking around that she shivered when he secured her hand in his and smiled warmly at her. 

They were walking on a path in between the grass, and Lucie realized that she had already been there in the past. Her suspicions were confirmed when they stopped in front of the greenhouse doors. He opened one for her, and she entered, ready to face the disruption she had seen the last time she had been there, but she was astonished when she saw the place looked entirely different from the way she remembered it. Most of the plants had been either cut or substituted by new ones, and fresh, colorful flowers grew at the sides of the greenhouse. Now it was bright and clean like she had never seen it before. A witchlight here and there lighted the ambient and made it look like some place out of a fairytale.

“Do you like it, Lucie?”

“It’s wonderful,” she commented, seeing how many types of plants were actually there. “How did you do this?”

“I called several gardeners, and-” he interrupted himself, because she was rolling her eyes at him. “Okay, I’ll stop humoring you, Lucie. I was saying-”

“Why didn’t you come to see me after we got back?” she interjected. She understood that he wanted to tell her about the greenhouse and how he had restored it, but she needed to talk about important matters first. “I thought you would come,” she murmured, trying not to seem too hurt. “I believed you would talk to me.”

“I also asked myself the same thing,” he admitted, and she thought he was honest. “I needed time, Lucie. Time to think. I thought about what I wanted to do with my future, now that my mother has been taken away. If I could live as a shadowhunter, or I would rather live as a mundane. Do you know that my father left me a hefty inheritance? I could sit down all day and do nothing for the rest of my life, and I would still have money to survive,” he chuckled.

“Exercise is important,” Lucie said, and they both laughed. 

“Yes, and not only that,” Jesse’s face turned serious. “It didn’t take me long to resolve what I wanted to do. The first thing I decided to dedicate myself to, was remodeling this house. I talked about it with my uncles, and they all agreed to help me with this. They are all incredibly nice and sweet, and I’m angry at my mother for lying about them. She said they were evil, and I even believed her. But now I know better,” he glanced at a cactus for a moment, and sighed. “Can you believe they said that they want me to keep Chiswick?”

“I do believe you, Jesse,” she nodded. She was aware of her uncles and aunts’ generosity. 

“The second thing I resolved to do, was trying to understand if I could be a shadowhunter. You know that my mother also forbade me to live this life, literally, and I told myself: you should do it if you want to do it. I still don’t know much about it, but I am a good learner.”

“Yes, you are,” she agreed again, and he smiled at her. 

“And if you’d help me, and you’d teach me, I’m sure I’ll get better in no time,” he said, and got closer to her.

“Of course I will help you. Of course.”

“Be with me, Lucie,” he took her hands in his. “Marry me.”

Lucie’s jaw dropped, and her skin flushed. Her heart would leap out of her chest if it could, she was sure. “But… don’t you believe it’s too early for this? I’ve just turned seventeen, we’re both seventeen, and…”

“We can wait until you are ready to make this step, but I can’t wait for you to give me an answer. I’ve lost seven years of my life already. I don’t want to lose more time and lose more occasions. I want to finally live my life,” he said with hope. 

It was an honest request.

“With me?”

“Why does it sound too weird to you, Lucie? I think my life gained color when I first met you. After then, it was a crescendo of hues. You let me live even when I couldn’t. I wouldn’t want to tie your life to mine, knowing that I was dead. I wouldn’t want to subject you to the fate of loving someone who couldn’t be the person you deserved by your side, because I was half-alive. I would have never confessed my feelings for you, had I stayed a ghost.”

“Do you… love me?” her voice shook, and tears started to well in her eyes. 

“Again, I wonder why does it sound impossible to you that I love you, Lucie?” Jesse asked, caressing her cheek tenderly. “I think I fell for you before I gave your brother my last breath. I thought I loved you because you were the only other person who could see me, but I was wrong. I waited for the night to fall so I could be with you. I missed you. I never developed any affection for anyone before you, and I realized it’s because you are special. And the Jesse Blackthorn who spent two months with you before I regained my memories knew it too.”

“Do you remember?”

“Yes, I remembered what happened after you brought me to life. I remember that I doubted you, but then asked for your help and you hid me while we figured how to get my memories back. I remember the first rune you drew on my arm when we entered this very house to bring the Black Volume back, and your shock when you saw me at the Cornwall Institute. I also remember our first kiss, and the way I fainted,” he laughed. “I already remembered after Magnus Bane finished performing that spell on me. I couldn’t place those frames at first, but then they clicked. Everything fell into place. And I… had to do something about it.”

“You organized a ball,” Lucie commented with a grin. 

“I wanted to celebrate my life… Selfish, isn’t it?”

“Nah, you deserve it, Jesse Blackthorn. You’re the least self-centered person I know, although you are arrogant at times,” she shrugged, and he frowned. “And I love you. I want to be with you as long as life allows us to be together.”

He beamed, and smiled widely. “Can I kiss you, Lucie?”

“You can kiss me anytime you want,” she replied. “And this, of course, goes both ways,” Lucie said, and she rose on the balls of her feet to kiss him before he would do it.

He gave her his family ring next, and slid it on her fourth finger. They agreed on telling the news to everyone that night, and Jesse confessed that her parents already knew. 

“That’s why I came to the Institute personally the other day,” Jesse told her as they returned back to the party. “I asked your father the permission to marry you.”

“And what did he say?” she asked, curious.

“He said that it was up to you. It wasn’t up to him to give me his permission. You were the only one who could accept or refuse my proposal. He added that if you said yes, he would know that I was worthy of you, because you would never choose somebody who didn’t deserve you.”

Lucie laughed. “Come on, let’s hurry. I think he is eager to find out what i said.”

  
  
...  
  
  


**EPILOGUE**

**6 Years Later**

**_London, Spring 1910_ **

“And then, the princess exclaimed: I came to destroy you! You dared to make the prince fall into a deep sleep, and I’ll never forgive you for this!” Lucie exclaimed giddily, as she dressed her son in the green pants and white shirt she had chosen for the event they were throwing that night. Lucie believed the baby needed to shine as much as his parents, since this party was also for him. “No, you won’t crush me! You’re just a little girl!” she continued, and the baby laughed as she put on his socks and shoes. “I’m not a little girl!” she said in a different one of voice, pretending she was fifteen years younger than she was now.

“Is prince Theodore ready, my lady?” Jesse asked from the doorway, as Lucie finished the last touch on their son’s outfit, a cute dark green bowtie.

Theodore was a healthy two year old baby with Lucie’s brown hair and blue-green eyes. Not quite like the color of either of his parents, but more of a mix between the two. Perhaps it would turn into the Blackthorn-Herondale trademark color. Who knew.

“He is now,” she replied, and she turned her face to let her husband of four years kiss her on the lips. “And so am I, thanks for asking.”

“I helped you close the zip of your dress because it got stuck, earlier,” he winked, and grabbed his jacket from the chair, then picked baby Theodore from the changing table, and kissed his cheek. The baby giggled excitedly.

Lucie checked herself in the mirror one last time, then they went down at the top of the stairs outside to wait for their guests, as they usually did on such occasions. It was their fourth wedding anniversary, and they had made it a tradition to throw a party at Blackthorn Hall every year. Blackthorn Hall used to be Chiswick House. They thought it deserved a name change after they had restored the place, to symbolize its renovation and brand new life. 

They saw a few carriages approach, and Lucie smiled to herself. The party was about to begin.

“The zip of my dress didn’t get stuck,” she said out of the blue, continuing the conversation they were having inside. “I just gained weight on my stomach,” she glanced at him with a smirk.

Jesse frowned at first. “It’s okay Lu-” he said, then realized what she meant, and his eyes widened, filled with surprise but also joy. “Are you with child?” 

Lucie smiled lovingly at her husband. “Happy Fourth Anniversary, my love,” she told him, and he gave her another kiss.

“I wanted to wait later to give this to you, but since we’re here,” he said, and took a white envelope from his pocket and gave it to her. “It came in the mail this morning. It looks thick.”

She glanced at her husband with expectations and hope. “Let’s open it,” she muttered, and started reading as fast as she could. She was trying to finish before the carriages would get too close to the house. “By the angel, by the angel!”

“What does it say?”

“Mrs. Lucie Blackthorn, we are happy to inform you that we found your manuscript interesting and creative, and we look forward to working with you. We would love to publish your work as soon as possible. Please come to our office as soon as you can, to sign the contract. Sincerely, Parks of London Publishing House,” she said, and she started jumping on the spot. “They will publish my book!”

“Careful, careful, though,” he advised, putting an arm on her shoulder and kissing her head. “I’m so happy for you, my beloved. Happy anniversary.”

And they all lived happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for reading this. It was the first multi-chapter fan fiction I finished, so this is a great accomplishment for me. I had this idea while reading Lord of Shadows... in there, we discover that there is an unregulated portal in the London Institute that takes to the Cornwall Institute. I asked myself... why does it take there? And this is the explanation, lol. I really hope you enjoyed this. I loved writing it, and I hope you will also check out my work in the future.
> 
> THANK YOU!!!


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